The CW became the first of the Big 5 Networks to announce their Fall 2011 premiere schedule yesterday. The schedule is so incredibly awful that we don’t really care about this at all but on the bright side, at least we get to get it out of the way early. If you wondering why it’s so awful, please refer to this and, of course, the rest of their absolute dog-crap programming as indicated below. There are two good shows on their entire schedule and one potentially good show. Your job: guess which ones we think they are, and please note, if Gossip Girl even entered your mind, you’ve already failed… and apparently so have we.
TUESDAY, SEPT. 13
8:00-9:00 PM 90210 (Season Premiere)
9:00-10:00 PM Ringer(NEW SHOW!)
WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 14
8:00-9:00 PM H8R(NEW SHOW!)
9:00-10:00 PM America’s Next Top Model (Season Premiere)
THURSDAY, SEPT. 15
8:00-9:00 PM The Vampire Dairies (Season Premiere)
On May 18th, SyFy announced that they were picking up both seasons (26 episodes) of the Canadian supernatural hit, Lost Girl for broadcast in the U.S. We’re not familiar with this show however it seems rather interesting and at least it’s another new scripted drama added to SyFy’s very light new schedule for 2011 – 2012. No word on a premiere date as of yet.
Via Press Release:
SYFY ACQUIRES SUPERNATURAL DRAMA SERIES LOST GIRL FROM PRODIGY PICTURES
NEW YORK – May 18, 2011 –Syfy has acquired both seasons (26 episodes) of the hit Canadian supernatural dramaLost Girl from Prodigy Pictures, it was announced today by Thomas Vitale, Executive Vice President, Programming and Original Movies,Syfy.
Lost Girl stars supernatural seductress Bo (played by Anna Silk/The Ghost Whisperer), aSuccubus (a powerful female entity in folklore) who feeds off sexual energy. Raised by human parents, Bo had no reason to believe she was anything other than the girl next door — until she “drained” her first boyfriend to death.
Bo has since hit the road alone and afraid. She discovers she is one of the Fae, creatures of legend and folklore, who pass as humans while feeding off them in secret, as they have for millennia. She is faced with choosing an allegiance between the Dark or Light Fae clans. Bo decides to take the middle path between humans and the Fae while embarking on a personal mission to unlock the secrets of her origin, protecting humans along the way.
Lost Girl co-stars Kris Holden-Ried as Dyson, a shape-shifting Fae, homicide detective and Bo’s love interest; Ksenia Solo as Kenzi, Bo’s human confidante and street-smart survivor, Zoie Palmer as Lauren, a human doctor who competes for Bo’s heart; Rick Howland as Trick, the mysterious owner and bartender at The Dal Riata tavern, with a secretive past that is yet to be unlocked, and K.C. Collins as Hale, a handsome male “Siren” who is the eternal bachelor, ultimate wingman and Dyson’s partner on the force.
Notable guest stars include Emmanuelle Vaugier as “The Morrigan”, the leader of the Dark Fae.
Said Vitale: “In one year,Lost Girl has electrified viewers in Canada and around the world. We’re delighted to bring this fascinating, high-octane series, which depicts a unique world and memorable heroine, to theSyfyaudience.”
“We’re thrilled to haveSyfy on board as our broadcast partner in the U.S.Lost Girl is a unique series that thrusts a strong, independent female lead into uncompromising circumstances. It’s a series that takes risks with unconventional storylines and provocative character development,” said Jay Firestone, Executive Producer.
This series is developed and produced by Prodigy Pictures, in association with Shaw Media and Showcase. This acquisition agreement was brokered by Tim Mudd of Mudd Media.
Syfy is a media destination for imagination-based entertainment. With year round acclaimed original series, events, blockbuster movies, classic science fiction and fantasy programming, a dynamic Web site (www.Syfy.com), and a portfolio of adjacent business (Syfy Ventures),Syfy is a passport to limitless possibilities. Originally launched in 1992 as SCI FI Channel, and currently in more than 99 million homes,Syfy is a network of NBCUniversal, one of the world’s leading media and entertainment companies. (Syfy. Imagine greater.)
About Prodigy Pictures Founded in 2006 by Jay Firestone, Prodigy Pictures leads the way in the production of quality film, television and cross-platform media. Its credits include the critically acclaimed featureStuck and the television seriesXIII, currently airing on Showcase in Canada and Canal Plus in France. Prodigy’s hit series,Lost Girl, has recently started production on its second season. The company has several feature film and television projects in development, including William Gibson’sNeuromancer, andWeapon, in partnership with Studio 37.
Again, like the Summer schedule, we are very late on the draw on this, however, here’s the full scoop on all of the programming for SyFy for 2011 – 2012. There’s not a whole lot more that we can say about this that we didn’t say in the article about the Summer schedule, except that new scripted drama is represented by a grand total of two shows this season, Alphas, premiering in July, and the highly-anticipated Battlestar Galactica: Blood & Chrome, which does not have an official announced date for release but we expect it in early 2012.
Although we don’t subscribe to the nonsense that there is no Science Fiction on the former SciFi network anymore, it is very curious that there are only two new scripted dramas (and SyFy has picked up the first two seasons of the Canadian hit, Lost Girl although they haven’t announced a premiere date for it as of yet) and three, what appear to be science fiction-themed comedies (seriously?). The rest of the programming is made up primarily of goofy Saturday movies and reality series. This disappoints us and seems a little odd as well, considering that every other network out there has drastically cut the amount of reality shows from their schedule and cut the amount of reality shows that they have ordered and put into development status. This schedule is VERY reality-heavy and it’s not a matter of this not appealing to science fiction audience, it’s a matter of it not appealing to any audience. Seriously, how many reality shows can an audience take? For preview videos and trailers of the shows that will be airing this summer (including some full episodes) check out the our article on the SyFy summer schedule.
CORRECTION: Due to the obnoxious length of SyFy’s press release below, we completely missed the announcement regarding the new live-action, scripted action series/massive multiplayer online game (MMOG), Defiance. Due to this development, we are a whole lot less disappointed in the lack of new scripted drama. Read all about it, here.
Via Press Release:
SYFY UNVEILS LARGEST ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING SLATE IN HISTORY FEATURING 14 NEW SERIES AND EVENTS
LED BY PREMIERE OF ALPHAS, FOUR SCRIPTED SERIES LAUNCH IN JULY – MOST EVER IN A SINGLE MONTH
UNSCRIPTED DEVELOPMENT SLATE INCLUDES PROJECTS WITH TOMMY LEE AND DEEPAK CHOPRA
NEW YORK – March 22, 2011 – Continuing the sizzling momentum of theSyfy global brand evolution, which has sparked imagination-driven hit series and double-digit growth in younger, upscale audiences as well as diverse new business ventures,Syfy President Dave Howe today will introduce the largest original programming slate in the channel’s 18-year history, highlighted by 14 new original series and events comprising more than 100 hours.
The 2011Syfy Upfront will be presented at the Foxwoods Theatre, where the channel is hosting a live performance ofSPIDER-MAN Turn Off the Dark for the advertising community.Syfy is the official media partner of the Broadway show.
Remarking onSyfy’s announced development slate, Mark Stern, President Original Content,Syfy, and Co-Head Original Content, Universal Cable Productions, said, “Our ambition in development is to push the boundaries of imagination, creativity, and story-telling. We want to transport our audience with high-quality, thought-provoking experiences that allow them to explore the un-explorable, to believe the unbelievable, and to truly… ‘Imagine Greater.’”
Riding high on 15 consecutive years as a Top 10 channel among Adults 25-54, Syfy‘s viewership has continued to grow in 2011. In January prime,Syfy rose 12% in Adults 18-49/$75K, while experiencing a significant drop of two years (46) in the median age.
During First Quarter-to-date (vs.1Q’10) prime,Syfy has jumped 17% in Adults 18-34, 13% among total viewers and seven percent among Adults 18-49, led by the freshman hit seriesBeing Human andFace Off, both of which have been renewed.
In July,Syfy launchesfour scripted series in the same month — for the first time ever — whenAlphas premieres along with returning powerhousesWarehouse 13 (Syfy’s most watched series ever),Eureka andHaven.
The second season return of the heralded reality showHollywood Treasure kicks off Summer 2011 unscripted programming in June, paired with the premiere ofHaunted Collector (working title), followed by the debuts ofLegend Quest in July andParanormal Witness in September.
The robust reality development slate includes projects from unique perspectives such as rock musician Tommy Lee, author Deepak Chopra and photographer Tyler Shields, along with a family that creates movie monsters and the world’s top stunt artists.
On the scripted side,Syfy is developingBattlestar: Blood and Chrome, set in the 10th year of the First Cylon War. As well as three single-camera, half hour comedies including the Lee Majors vehicleMe and Lee from the creator ofWeeds,In the Dark featuring a team of wannabe paranormal investigators, and a new adaptation ofThree Inches.
Keying the latest roster of popular Saturday Original Movies will beRed Faction: Origins, based on the highly successful video game franchise; 1970s TV icons Barry Williams and Danny Bonaduce butt heads inBigfoot; Shannen Doherty headlines a re-imagining of the classic fairy tale Gretl;Roswell, the story selected by fans through theSyfy andIGN.comB Movie Mogul contest; and inJersey Shore Shark Attack, who knows who might be a victim?
This October,Syfy will become the first ever, official sponsor of the city’s Halloween celebrations, partnering with NYC & Company for31 Days of HalloweeNYC. Then in December,Syfy celebrates the holiday season with its second annualCountdown to Christmas Week (highlighted by the movie eventNeverland with Keira Knightley asThe Voice of Tinker Bell).
Syfy Ventures is launching a new publishing business of completely sponsorable genre games under theSyfyGames banner. Available initially on Facebook in the United States, the suite of high quality games will embrace the sci-fi, fantasy, paranormal, action/adventure, and superhero genres, ranging from original content to games based uponSyfy programming. These first round of games are scheduled for launch later this year. As well,Syfy is partnering with game developer Trion Worldwide for a new entertainment franchise,Defiance, that will seamlessly pair a primetime series with an online video game, scheduled for 2011.
Among the new opportunities for advertisers to partner with theSyfy brand isImagination Spotlight, a groundbreaking, multi-platform brand initiative celebrating the world’s imaginative achievements and innovative ideas. Advertisers will have the opportunity to join the celebration through an array of multi-media partnerships that showcase imagination.
Syfy is currently available in 75 countries, reaching nearly 150 million households globally.
NEW SCRIPTED SERIES
Alphas – Premiering in July –Alphas follows a team of ordinary citizens whose brain anomalies imbue them with extraordinary mental and physical abilities. Taking the law into their own hands, the unlikely team, led by Dr. Leigh Rosen (Emmy Award-winner and Oscar nominee David Strathairn) investigates cases that suggest other Alpha activity to uncover what the CIA, FBI and Pentagon have not been able, or willing, to solve. These gifted individuals must balance their quirky personalities and disparate backgrounds with their not always visible powers as they work to solve crimes, stop the ticking time bomb and catch the enemy.
Alphas also stars Malik Yoba, Warren Christie, Laura Mennell, Ryan Cartwright and Azita Ghanizada, and is a production of Universal Cable Productions and BermanBraun Television. Executive Producers are Gail Berman, Lloyd Braun and Gene Stein for BermanBraun, Zak Penn and Ira Steven Behr.
NEW REALITY SERIES
Haunted Collector (working title) — Premiering in June — Ghosts and spirits inhabit more than just homes and buildings — they can also live in objects. John Zaffis and his family are renowned paranormal investigators, tracking down haunted items like paintings, guns, jewelry and dolls. Once identified, the items are collected and stored in their museum, helping John’s clients bring normalcy back to their lives. Produced by Gurney Productions. Executive producers: Scott Gurney and Dierdre Gurney.
Legend Quest — Premiering in July — This fast-paced action-adventure series follows Ashley Cowie, a real-life symbologist, as he travels the world in search of some of history’s greatest relics and artifacts, all of which are believed to hold hidden powers and mystical significance for ancient and modern cultures. Each episode will include Indiana Jones-type adventure and Da Vinci Code-style connections as the hidden truths and alternative theories of these mythical objects are explored.Legend Quest is executive produced by John Brenkus and Mickey Stern for BASE Productions, and is a co-production with Universal Networks International. Paranormal Witness – Premiering in September — From Raw TV, the acclaimed creative team behindLocked Up Abroad andGold Rush Alaska, this tense, filmic and high-octane drama-documentary series brings to life the stories of people who have lived through paranormal experiences that defy explanation. Using the mixture of intimate first-hand testimony and grittily realistic drama that Raw TV is known for,Paranormal Witness will transport the audience into a world turned upside down by extraordinary and terrifying events.Paranormal Witnessis produced by Raw TV. Executive producers: Dimitri Doganis and Bart Layton.
SCRIPTED DEVELOPMENT/DRAMA
Battlestar: Blood & Chrome – Luke Pasqualino (Skins-UK) and Ben Cotton (Hellcats) star inBattlestar: Blood & Chrome, which takes place in the 10th year of the first Cylon war. As the battle between humans and their creation, a sentient robotic race, rages across the 12 colonial worlds, a brash rookie viper pilot enters the fray. Ensign William Adama (Pasqualino), barely in his 20’s and a recent Academy graduate, finds himself assigned to one of the most powerful ships in the Colonial fleet…the Galactica. The talented but hot-headed risk-taker soon finds himself leading a dangerous top secret mission that, if successful, will turn the tide of the decade-long war in favor of the desperate fleet. Executive producers: David Eick and Michael Taylor. Written by Michael Taylor from a story by David Eick, Taylor and Bradley Thompson and David Weddle. A production of Universal Cable Productions.
SCRIPTED DEVELOPMENT/SINGLE CAMERA HALF-HOURS
Three Inches – InThree Inches, professional daydreamer and underachiever Walter Spackman is struck by lightning and develops a unique “super” power — the ability to move any object using just his mind… but only a distance of three inches. He’s soon immersed in a world of extraordinarily ordinary people like himself and learns that “super” is just a state of mind. The pilot is written by Harley Peyton (Twin Peaks), who also serves as executive producer. Fox Television Studios is producing with executive producer Robert Cooper, through his company Landscape Entertainment.
In the Dark –In the Dark follows a misfit group of third tier Ghost Hunters whose misguided efforts tend to highlight their incompetence rather than any paranormal activity. From Universal Cable Productions,In the Darkis executive produced by Dan Taberski through Idiot Box Productions, Michael Davidoff and Bill Rosenthal. Teleplay by Michael Davidoff & Bill Rosenthal.
Me and Lee — Me and Lee is about a down on his luck 20-something who goes in for back surgery, but the procedure doesn’t go well. Enter Lee Majors, who claims he has the perfect solution. He entices the young man into his ultra high-tech lab and makes him bionic. Majors becomes the unlikeliest of mentors helping the young man get his life back together. Jenji Kohan, the executive producer and creator ofWeeds, serves as the executive producer of Me and Lee along with the writer Matthew Salzberg, Allan Loeb and Steven Pearl. Produced by Lionsgate.
REALITY DEVELOPMENT
Culture Shock with Tommy Lee – This one-hour investigative travel show follows Mötley Crüe’s Tommy Lee as he attempts to uncover the various rituals, symbols and other mysteries of secret societies around the world. Tommy Lee will dig into the history behind the secret society, search out its meeting locations and members, and meet with former members to reveal the society’s rituals and deepest secrets. A production of ITV Studios America. Executive producers: Tommy Lee and Carl Stubner. Supervising producer: Jenna Barnes.
Monster Man – When Hollywood studios want a bizarre creature, monster prop or out-of-this world alien, they turn to Cleve Hall and his very unique, family business. This series goes behind the scenes of Cleve’s workshop, where the craziness of this fun family is matched only by the insane monsters they build. Produced by Gurney Productions. Executive producers: Scott Gurney and Dierdre Gurney.
Stunts Unlimited — Stunts Unlimited is an elite and exclusive fraternity of artists committed to a very imaginative, creative, unique and dangerous craft — movie stunts. This series takes audiences behind-the-scenes into a world rarely seen, unveiling the innovations and problem solving necessary to accomplish the most spectacular stunts in Hollywood. With their lives on the line with every stunt, the members of Stunts Unlimited form a close-knit work family, helping them balance the challenges of their jobs and their families. Executive producers: Ric Roman Waugh and Gary Binkow.
Hi Tech Hoaxes — The series where the supernatural, the mythical and the astonishing leave the big screen and step into people’s everyday lives. Each week two teams will go head-to-head to provide a once-in-a-lifetime experience for an unsuspecting pair of people, who are about to have their world turned upside down for a brief, thrilling moment. Teams of engineers, tech geniuses and pranksters will draw their inspiration from requests sent by ordinary people who want to execute the hoax on friends, family, colleagues, customers, kids, parents or even pupils. They’ll rely on the technical know- how and the resourcefulness of the teams to make it happen. But it needs to be hyper-convincing because these hoaxes are going to be happening in the real world In Plain Sight. Produced by North One Television.
Dinner with Deepak — If you could invite three people to dinner, who would they be? Best selling author and spiritual teacher Dr. Deepak Chopra dines and joins in conversation with some of the greatest minds and creators in the world today. In every episode, Chopra brings together a group of noteworthy guests to share a meal and a conversation ranging in topic from the spiritual, political and scientific to supernatural, designed to challenge our standard conventions and push the boundaries of viewers’ imaginations and intellects. Executive producers: Deepak Chopra, Gotham Chopra, Tim Piper and Sharad Devarajan.
Tyler Shields – A docu-series featuring unconventional photographer Tyler Shields and his team as they create worlds that are always surprising, shocking, and totally surreal. This Los Angeles-based artist is one of the most creative and original photographers working today. His subjects are celebrities, actors, models, and everyday people captured in magical, beautiful, and often dangerous situations. His eye-popping, jaw-dropping photos are designed to elicit the subject’s purest emotion right in the moment using no special effects. A production of RelativityREAL. Executive producers: Tom Forman, Tyler Shields and Zach Quinto.
Overthunk — A one-hour series that follows two teams of four talented creators as they compete to design, build and set off massive chain reaction machines. The best gizmo gladiators across America will face off in a weekly contest testing their mettle through gears and metal. Each week visits a new city, where natural rivals race against the clock and each other to brainstorm and build a fantastic apparatus that completes a specific task and keeps viewers holding their breath to see if these contraptions will actually work. Along the way, surprise “monkey wrenches” will challenge their minds and their patience. Produced by 25/7 Productions. Executive producer: Dave Broome.
Change the Day You Die — Change the Day You Die is an inspiring new reality series that uses state-of-the-art science to dramatically transport its participants into the future to face their own self-inflicted demise. Each of the seemingly healthy, unsuspecting candidates — nominated by friends, family and loved ones — will go on a 10-week transformational journey where they must master a series of mental and physical challenges designed to reverse their bad habits and add back valuable lost years to their lives. Through medical-condition simulators, life-enhancing technology, unique graphics and special effects, each participant will experience firsthand the grim reality of their potential future so that they have the opportunity to change their ways before it’s too late. Produced by 3 Ball Productions/Eyeworks USA. Executive Producers: JD Roth and Todd A. Nelson (3 Ball Productions/Eyeworks USA) and Danny Fenton (Zig Zag Productions). Imagination Nation — The innovators behind Hammacher Schlemmer, America’s oldest continuously published catalog that offers imaginatively unexpected and innovative products, go on the road to meet inventors from all walks of life to find fresh offerings for their inventory. Produced by North South Productions. Executive producers: Charlie DeBevoise and Mark Hickman.
America’s Smartest Kids — A thought provoking, reality competition show where the country’s most imaginative, innovative teenagers are challenged to invent a better future while competing for the title of America’s Smartest Kid. Executive producers: David Zelon and Michael Sardo.
SATURDAY ORIGINAL MOVIES
Red Faction: Origins — 2011 — Robert Patrick (Terminator 2), Brian J. Smith (Stargate Universe) and Kate Vernon (Battlestar Galactica) star inRed Faction: Origins, based on the hugely successfulRed Faction video game franchise. Twenty-five years have passed since Alec Mason (Patrick) led the Martian Colonies to freedom …and 12 years since vengeful enemies killed his wife, kidnapped his daughter Lyra (Tamzin Merchant), and left a broken hero in their wake.
Jake Mason (Smith), Alec’s only son and an officer in the Red Faction Militia, has his world turned inside out when he discovers that now, 12 years after her kidnapping, his sister is still alive. As a powerful new enemy swarms across the planet, Jake goes out to find her, only to learn that his lost sister is one of them…a cold-blooded soldier sworn to destroy the Red Faction.Red Faction: Origins is produced by Universal Cable Productions and UFO Films.
Zombie Apocalypse (working title) — October 2011 — Months after a zombie plague has wiped out 90 percent of the American population, a small group of survivors fight their way cross-country to a rumored refuge on the island of Catalina. A production of The Asylum.
Gretl — November 2011 — As an adult, a witch hunter (Hansel) returns to the village where he lived as a child to find and kill the witch who killed his sister, Gretl (Shannen Doherty), only to find that Gretl is not dead and danger lurks around every corner. Produced by Chesler/Permutter Productions & Vesuvius Productions.
Snowmageddon (working title) – December 2011 — A story about a mystical snow globe that makes very bad things happen in the real world when it is shaken. A production of Cinetel.
Bigfoot – 2012 — 1970’s pop culture icons Danny Bonaduce (The Partridge Family) and Barry Williams (The Brady Bunch) face off in the hunt for the legendary mountain creature. A production of The Asylum.
St. Patrick’s Day Leprechaun (working title) — St Patrick’s Day, Saturday, March 17th, 2012 — An evil leprechaun who has been imprisoned within the roots of a majestic old oak tree, is accidentally set loose on St. Patrick’s Day. Once free, he takes out his bloody revenge on the descendants of the people who originally imprisoned him. A production of After Dark Films.
Roswell — June 2012 – The story selected by fans forSyfy and IGN.com’sB Movie Mogul project, 65 years after the original UFO crash at Roswell, another ship from the same far-off civilization comes to rescue their downed comrades – and continue their preparation to invade the earth. Directed by Jason Connery (Area 51, The Devil’s Tomb). A production of After Dark Films.
Jersey Shore Shark Attack — 2012 – While everyone else runs scared, vacationing Jerseyites fend off shark attacks on the shore. A production of ARO Entertainment.
Dungeons and Dragons 4 (working title) — September 2012 – A princess and a rogue knight become reluctant heroes inside a magical kingdom. A production of After Dark Films with Silver Pictures.
Syfy is a media destination for imagination-based entertainment. With year round acclaimed original series, events, blockbuster movies, classic science fiction and fantasy programming, a dynamic Web site (www.Syfy.com), and a portfolio of adjacent business (Syfy Ventures),Syfy is a passport to limitless possibilities. Originally launched in 1992 as SCI FI Channel, and currently in more than 99 million homes,Syfy is a network of NBCUniversal, one of the world’s leading media and entertainment companies. (Syfy. Imagine greater.)
Yesterday we reported that Cheryl Cole had been replaced by the Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger as a judge on FOX’s upcoming singing competition show, The X Factor. Everything in the piece itself was accurate however our headline, “The X Factor: Cheryl Cole OUT! Simon Cowell Says ‘Too British Sounding.’ Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger IN!,” was not. Simon Cowell had nothing to do with Cole’s departure and did not suggest that her accent was too thick for American audiences and in fact it’s been reported that he fought desperately to save her.
The Hollywood Reporteris citing sources who claim that the decision was a decision by the network itself and the accent issue was theirs alone. Prior reports implied that it was show producers that had the issue with her accent and were responsible for the decision to replace her. Since Simon Cowell is the main producer of this show, we assumed that these were his sentiments and that this was his decision. This obviously was a mistake.
We have also issued the retraction made the correction on the original piece.
Before their pilot episodes will even air this Fall, two lead cast members from two of FOX’s new series are leaving their respective shows. Saffron Burrows, who played Ike on the Bones back-door pilot for the new series The Finder is exiting as producers are re-imagining the character. In related news, Damon Wayans, Jr.’s role on the Zooey Deschanel comedy, New Girl will also have to be recast as Wayans’ other show, ABC’s Happy Endings, was renewed for a second season.
Check out the FOX 2011- 2012 schedule, here, and check out the our Preview – Reviews for all of FOX’s new shows, here, along with all the new trailers.
We reported two weeks ago that Paula Abdul had signed on as a judge alongside her former American Idol co-judge, Simon Cowell on his highly anticipated singing competition show, The X Factor, along with Cheryl Cole and L.A. Reid. TMZ is reporting that Cheryl Cole, who was a judge on the U.K. version of the show, has been replaced by the Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger citing concerns over American audiences having difficulty understanding her because of her thick British accent and a lack of chemistry with Abdul. Producers now want Cole to return to the U.K. version of the show but sources say that she is so angry about how the situation was handled that she may sever ties with the franchise entirely. We doubt it. We wouldn’t even know who she was if not for this so she needs all of the exposure she can get.
We look at this two ways: first how bad could her accent possibly be? If American audiences can sit through Ewan MacGregor’s Scottish brogue in Trainspotting:
… then we can certainly handle this:
Now of course, the best part of the clip above is that if you listen closely, she pauses in the middle of that to squeak out a little fart. G’head… go back and play it again, we’ll wait.
See, we told you.
Now aside from the obvious issues of farting on the air and how that probably isn’t something that will be embraced by American audiences (except us), the ultimate irony here is that Simon Cowell is concerned that American audiences aren’t going to be able to understand My-Fair-Lady/the-rain-in-Spain-falls-mainly-on-the-plain up there but he doesn’t have any concerns about two or three nights per week of this in primetime:
Steve Jones: Limey Stud
Obviously, though, if the other issue was chemistry with Abdul, it was simply a no-brainer that Cole would be the expendable judge. Scherzinger was originally cast to co-host the show with Steve Jones but now with the move, he’ll be doing it alone. Don’t feel bad folks, we don’t know who he is either however, apparently he’s quite popular in the U.K. and in order to get this gig he had to initially promise not to nail his fellow co-stars and no, we aren’t kidding. Just for that alone he gets our endorsement. But seriously, how hard can it be? Seacrest has been doing it for a decade and he hosts a daily radio show and that dopey show on E!
EDITOR’S NOTE – RETRACTION: Our headline, “The X Factor: Cheryl Cole OUT! Simon Cowell Says ‘Too British Sounding.’ Pussycat Dolls’ Nicole Scherzinger IN!,” was not correct. Cowell had nothing to do with Cole’s departure and did not suggest that her accent was too thick for American audiences and in fact it’s been reported that he fought desperately to save her.
The Hollywood Reporter is citing sources who claim that the decision was a decision by the network itself and the accent issue was theirs alone. Prior reports implied that it was show producers that had the issue with her accent and were responsible for the decision to replace her. Cowell is the main producer of this show, we assumed that these were his sentiments and that this was his decision. This obviously was a mistake.
As promised, The ‘Tastic is proud to present the first-look trailers for all of The CW’s new shows what little there are. Along with synopses and videos, in true TV-Tastic-style we’ll give you a preview assessment of each of the new series (in other words, we plan to pretty much rip most of them apart) letting you know what we think about them and if it’s worth your time to check them out this Fall and just to give everyone a heads up: Yuck. This channel and everything about is awful (except for Nikita and Supernatural and the jury is obviously out on Ringer.).
Hart of Dixie: Fast-talking New Yorker and brand new doctor Zoe Hart has it all figured out – after graduating top of her class from medical school, she’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and become a cardio-thoracic surgeon. But when her dreams fall apart, Zoe decides to accept an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama. Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town only to find that Harley has passed away and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will. She quickly finds that Southern hospitality isn’t always so hospitable – the other doctor in town, Brick Breeland, is less than pleased to be sharing the practice with this young outsider, and his daughter, Lemon, is a Southern belle whose sweet disposition turns sour when she meets Zoe. Zoe’s only allies are the mayor, former football star Lavon Hayes, her bad-boy neighbor Wade Kinsella, and handsome lawyer George Tucker – who just happens to be Lemon’s fiancé. Zoe is out of her element and ready to pack her bags, but a surprise visit by her snobby New York mother leads to Zoe’s decision to stay in Bluebell for a while, discovering small-town life and a side of herself she hadn’t known was there.
The ‘Tastic says:This is so awful we don’t know where to begin. It is puke-in-your-mouth awful. Let’s start with the obvious and that this is a less endearing recycling of the 1991 Michael J. Fox film, Doc Hollywood, however, we are so used to premises being recycled on television (and of course the typically clichéd “fish-out-of-water” premise), that this is the least of our problems. Could this show be any more offensive with its stereotypes and mean spiritedness? Seriously, this seems like a show that David E. Kelley would come up eith about the hip, young progressive doctor who goes down south to give them all a lesson in Northeast political sensibilities. Seriously, what the holy f*ck is this? And is there anyone that’s not heavily medicated that believes that Rachel Bilson is A.) a doctor and B.) a “fast talking New Yorker?” Where’s the accent? Oh, that’s right… she’s from L.A. and is a mediocre actor who can’t learn accents. This is so bad that we decided to present both the preview clip and the trailer just so you can see how horrible it really is.
Ringer: Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a woman who, after witnessing a murder, goes on the run, hiding out by assuming the life of her wealthy identical twin sister – only to learn that her sister’s seemingly idyllic life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she’s trying to leave behind. Bridget is six months sober and starting to turn her life around when she is the sole witness to a professional hit. Despite the assurances of her FBI protector, Agent Victor Machado, Bridget knows her life is on the line. She flees to New York, telling no one, not even her Narcotics Anonymous sponsor, Malcolm. In New York, Bridget reunites with her estranged twin, Siobhan. Wealthy, pampered and married to the strikingly handsome Andrew Martin, Siobhan lives what appears to be a fairy tale life – a life where no one knows that Bridget exists. The Sisters seem to be mending their frayed relationship, until Siobhan disappears mysteriously, and Bridget makes the split decision to take on her sister’s identity. She discovers shocking secrets, not only about her sister and her marriage, but also about Siobhan’s best friend, Gemma, and Gemma’s husband, Henry. And when someone tries to kill Bridget in her sister’s penthouse, she realizes she is no safer as Siobhan than she is as herself.
The ‘Tastic says: It’s very difficult to tell if this series is going to be any good or not. The trailers are very confusing but on paper, the show seems like it could be a very good thriller even it is convoluted. There are several different sneak preview clips on YouTube for you to explore if you want to try to make heads or tails of what’s going on with this show. Check them out, here.
H8R: Celebrities go head-to-head with civilians who hate them to win their “haters” over. Hosted by Mario Lopez, H8R is from Horizon Alternative Television with executive producers Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey (“Extra”), Jeremy Spiegel (“Extra”) and Mario Lopez.
The ‘Tastic says: This series looks silly, but not awful. We wouldn’t exactly call it appointment television, though. Great show description, too, by the way. There’s no YouTube video available for it but you can watch the trailers at The CW’s site, here.
The Secret Circle: Cassie Blake was a happy, normal teenage girl – until her mother Amelia dies in what appears to be a tragic accidental fire. Orphaned and deeply saddened, Cassie moves in with her warm and loving grandmother Jane in the beautiful small town of Chance Harbor, Washington – the town her mother left so many years before – where the residents seem to know more about Cassie than she does about herself. As Cassie gets to know her high school classmates, including sweet-natured Diana and her handsome boyfriend Adam, brooding loner Nick, mean-girl Faye and her sidekick Melissa, strange and frightening things begin to happen. When her new friends explain that they are all descended from powerful witches, and they’ve been waiting for Cassie to join them and complete a new generation of the Secret Circle, Cassie refuses to believe them – until Adam shows her how to unlock her incredible magical powers. But it’s not until Cassie discovers a message from her mother in an old leather-bound book of spells hidden in her mother’s childhood bedroom, that she understands her true and dangerous destiny. What Cassie and the others don’t yet know is that darker powers are at play, powers that might be linked to the adults in the town, including Diana’s father and Faye’s mother – and that Cassie’s mother’s death might not have been an accident.
The ‘Tastic says: It’s very hard to be overly judgmental about crap like this, and make no mistake, it is crap, but it certainly appeals to a certain segment of the audience, the segment of the audience that the CW is targeting with all of their programming: young women in their teens and early twenties. If you like The Vampire Diaries you’ll probably like this because it’s based on the books from the same author as that stupid series. We won’t as we prefer shows that are for adults.
MIDSEASON
Re-Modeled: Modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher is planning to bring together hundreds of small agencies around the world in a new venture called The Network. The Network will give Paul the leverage to change the industry from the inside out. He has two missions: to make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed, and to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives.
The ‘Tastic says: Next… and of course, The CW is hiding this from YouTube. Watch a clip, here.
The Frame: What happens when your whole life is reduced to one Frame? There’s only one rule: if you’re out of the Frame, you’re out of the game. Ten teams of two, chosen for their dynamic personalities and their existing deep-rooted relationships, are selected to compete in this wild social experiment. These teams will each live in one Frame – a stripped down version of their home living space – for up to 8 weeks, with the entire world watching their inter-personal soap operas play out atop a highly formatted game. Couples cannot physically see one another, but each “frame” is rigged with plasma screens & communication devices that allow for visual and verbal interaction. The teams will face outrageous challenges, punishments, head-to-head competitions, and eliminations, all while isolated from the outside world. With 24/7 web cams streaming content live, and a bi-weekly television show, audiences will vote for – and have control over – many elements of the show, from rewards to punishments to eliminations. The last couple standing will be America’s favorite pair, and walk away with a cash prize.
The ‘Tastic says: Seriously, what the Hell is wrong with this network? Is it humanly possible to air more crap than what they air? The CW won’t even put a clip up on their own website for this so we’ve got nothing for you. Somehow, we don’t think we’re missing much.
Here it is, folks, direct from The CW’s Upfront Advertising Event, The CW’s’s 2011 – 2012 Primetime Programming Schedule (scroll down for complete schedule). We’ll be doing a preview assessment on all of the new shows as well as providing trailers later shorttly.
If you have any questions about other shows, post them below.
Some programming notes:
We’re not going to lie, most of The CW’s programming has very little appeal to us. We really miss UPN a lot… at least old-school UPN. Other than three shows on this network, they have gone after teenage girl demographic with both barrels and obviously this isn’t working for us. On the other hand, The CW not only gives shows that the other Big-5 networks would never have a chance, they also don’t give up on fan favorites as they have much lower ratings standards. The CW is like an over-the air cable channel.
The CW picked up six new series for 2011 – 2012… three of them reality. Not a good sign especially for a network that only has 10 hours of programming per week.
As if it was a surprise, Nikita has been renewed for a second season, however it has been moved from Thursday at 9:00 p.m. to Friday at 8:00 p.m, replacing Smallville that just wrapped up after ten seasons.. This would be viewed as a disaster if the show was on another netwrok, but not with The CW. Friday nights have always been very good for genre on The CW and Nikita is a perfect match for that slot.
One Tree Hill has been renewed for a ninth and final season, albeit with an abbreviated order of 13 episodes and will air midseason.
The CW has picked up the new Sarah Michelle Gellar series, Ringer.
Via Press Release:
THE CW ANNOUNCES 2011-2012 SCHEDULE
NEW FALL SEASON FEATURES MORE ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING ALL SEASON LONG
Sarah Michelle Gellar Makes Her Return to Series Television In New Drama “Ringer”
East Coast Drama “Gossip Girl” Welcomes New Neighbor to the South, “Hart of Dixie,” Starring Rachel Bilson, on Monday Nights
“90210″ Moves To a New Tuesday Night Address, Leading Into One of the Season’s Most Buzzed-About New Shows, “Ringer,” Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar
Wednesday Pairs New Celebrity Reality Series “H8R,” Hosted by Mario Lopez, with First-Ever All-Star Edition of “America’s Next Top Model”
On Thursday, The CW’s Highest-Rated Hit “The Vampire Diaries” Teams with “The Secret Circle,” a New Drama From Kevin Williamson About a Coven of Powerful Witches
Action Thriller “Nikita” moves to Friday Nights as the Lead-In for Fan Favorite “Supernatural”
Midseason Brings the Return and Farewell Season of “One Tree Hill” And Outrageous New Reality Series “Re-Modeled” and “The Frame”
May 19, 2011 (New York, New York) – The CW Network unveiled the schedule for its 2011-2012 season today at its annual upfront presentation for advertisers, affiliates and national media from Jazz at Lincoln Center. Electro hip-hop group LMFAO staged a rousing flash mob dance and performed their hit song “Party Rock Anthem” to open the show. The announcement was made by Dawn Ostroff, President of Entertainment, and Mark Pedowitz, the new President of The CW.
“We’re thrilled to present the most exciting primetime schedule The CW has ever had, comprised of shows that feature bold concepts, proven TV stars and up-and-coming, breakout talent,” said Ostroff. “In just five years, we’ve built an instantly recognizable brand that resonates with both viewers and advertisers and is known for being smartly provocative, culturally current, emotionally authentic and a leader in digital and social media. This upcoming season will continue to establish The CW as a premier destination for our viewers, especially women.”
“Our priority this season was adding more original programming this upcoming year, and we’ve done that with shows that will appeal to our core audience of women, while also bringing in new viewers,” said Pedowitz. “We’re being aggressive with smart, bold scheduling moves designed to improve key time periods and grow our audience.”
“‘Hart of Dixie,’ from the ‘Gossip Girl’ team of Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, is a medical franchise with a proven star in Rachel Bilson,” added Pedowitz. “Sarah Michelle Gellar has incredible appeal to our core audience and beyond, and when word got out that she was starring in ‘Ringer’ on our network, it went viral online immediately. ‘The Secret Circle’ is from Kevin Williamson, the producer of ‘The Vampire Diaries,’ and is also based on a popular series of books by author L.J. Smith, and it fits perfectly on Thursday nights. Our new reality series ‘H8R,’ and ‘Re-Modeled’ and ‘The Frame’ at midseason, are brash and loud, and continue our commitment of giving our audience more original content all season long. And we’re thrilled to have ‘One Tree Hill’ return for its farewell season this spring. The 2011-2012 season is poised to be The CW’s best season yet.”
On Monday night, one of the most talked-about shows on television, Gossip Girl, returns to the 8:00-9:00 p.m. timeslot, leading into the new drama HART OF DIXIE from 9:00-10:00 p.m. From the creators of Gossip Girl and “The O.C.,” HART OF DIXIE stars Rachel Bilson as Doctor Zoe Hart, a sophisticated New York City woman who finds herself practicing medicine in a small Southern town.
90210 graduated from West Beverly High and moves over to Tuesday nights, 8:00-9:00 p.m. Following 90210, 9:00-10:00 p.m., is one of the most buzzed-about shows of the new season, RINGER, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, who stars as a woman on the run, who assumes her twin sister’s identity, only to discover that her sister’s life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she’s trying to escape.
On Wednesday, new reality series H8R brings celebrities face-to-face with the people who love to hate them, with host Mario Lopez, 8:00-9:00 p.m. With its focus on celebrity culture, H8R gives a great lead-in to the first-ever All-Stars edition of AMERICA’S Next Top Model from 9:00-10:00 p.m.
Thursday night will feature two shows from star producer Kevin Williamson and based on a series of books by author L.J. Smith. The CW’s top-rated show THE Vampire Diaries returns in the 8:00-9:00 p.m. timeslot, leading into new drama THE SECRET CIRCLE from 9:00-10:00 p.m. Britt Robertson stars as Cassie, an orphaned teenage girl who discovers the truth about her lineage – she’s a witch who holds the key to an ancient battle between good and evil.
Friday nights are action-packed, with the sexy and exciting Nikita moving to 8:00-9:00 p.m. and the Winchester brothers of SUPERNATURAL returning in the 9:00-10:00 p.m. timeslot.
Following is The CW’s 2011-2012 primetime schedule, a night-by-night breakdown and accompanying details on all the programs.
MONDAY
8 pm Gossip Girl
9 pm Hart of Dixie (NEW!)
TUESDAY
8 pm 90210
9 pm Ringer (NEW!)
WEDNESDAY
8 pm H8R (NEW!)
9 pm America’s Next Top Model
THURSDAY
8 pm The Vampire Diaries
9 pm The Secret Circle (NEW!)
FRIDAY
8 pm Nikita
9 pm Supernatural
NEW SERIES DESCRIPTIONS:
“HART OF DIXIE”
Fast-talking New Yorker and brand new doctor Zoe Hart has it all figured out – after graduating top of her class from medical school, she’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and become a cardio-thoracic surgeon. But when her dreams fall apart, Zoe decides to accept an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama. Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town only to find that Harley has passed away and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will. She quickly finds that Southern hospitality isn’t always so hospitable – the other doctor in town, Brick Breeland, is less than pleased to be sharing the practice with this young outsider, and his daughter, Lemon, is a Southern belle whose sweet disposition turns sour when she meets Zoe. Zoe’s only allies are the mayor, former football star Lavon Hayes, her bad-boy neighbor Wade Kinsella, and handsome lawyer George Tucker – who just happens to be Lemon’s fiancé. Zoe is out of her element and ready to pack her bags, but a surprise visit by her snobby New York mother leads to Zoe’s decision to stay in Bluebell for a while, discovering small-town life and a side of herself she hadn’t known was there. The series stars Rachel Bilson as Dr. Zoe Hart, Jaime King as Lemon Breeland, Wilson Bethel as Wade Kinsella, Cress Williams as Lavon Hayes, McKaley Miller as Rose and Scott Porter as George Tucker. HART OF DIXIE is from Bonanza Productions Inc., in association with Fake Empire, Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios, with executive producers Leila Gerstein (“Gossip Girl,” “Eli Stone”), Josh Schwartz (“Gossip Girl,” “Chuck,” “The O.C.”), Stephanie Savage (“Gossip Girl,” “The O.C.”), Len Goldstein and Jason Ensler (“Gossip Girl,” “Chuck”). The pilot was directed by Jason Ensler.
“RINGER”
Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a woman who, after witnessing a murder, goes on the run, hiding out by assuming the life of her wealthy identical twin sister – only to learn that her sister’s seemingly idyllic life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she’s trying to leave behind. Bridget is six months sober and starting to turn her life around when she is the sole witness to a professional hit. Despite the assurances of her FBI protector, Agent Victor Machado, Bridget knows her life is on the line. She flees to New York, telling no one, not even her Narcotics Anonymous sponsor, Malcolm. In New York, Bridget reunites with her estranged twin, Siobhan. Wealthy, pampered and married to the strikingly handsome Andrew Martin, Siobhan lives what appears to be a fairy tale life – a life where no one knows that Bridget exists. The Sisters seem to be mending their frayed relationship, until Siobhan disappears mysteriously, and Bridget makes the split decision to take on her sister’s identity. She discovers shocking secrets, not only about her sister and her marriage, but also about Siobhan’s best friend, Gemma, and Gemma’s husband, Henry. And when someone tries to kill Bridget in her sister’s penthouse, she realizes she is no safer as Siobhan than she is as herself. The series stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Bridget and Siobhan, Kristoffer Polaha as Henry, Ioan Gruffudd as Andrew Martin, Nestor Carbonell as Agent Victor Machado and Tara Summers as Gemma. RINGER is produced by CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television in association with ABC Television Studios and Brillstein Entertainment with executive producers Pam Veasey (“CSI, NY,” “The District”), Peter Traugott (“Samantha Who?”) and Emmy Award-winner Richard Shepard (“Ugly Betty”). The pilot was directed by Richard Shepard.
“H8R”
Celebrities go head-to-head with civilians who hate them to win their “haters” over. Hosted by Mario Lopez, H8R is from Horizon Alternative Television with executive producers Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey (“Extra”), Jeremy Spiegel (“Extra”) and Mario Lopez.
“THE SECRET CIRCLE”
Cassie Blake was a happy, normal teenage girl – until her mother Amelia dies in what appears to be a tragic accidental fire. Orphaned and deeply saddened, Cassie moves in with her warm and loving grandmother Jane in the beautiful small town of Chance Harbor, Washington – the town her mother left so many years before – where the residents seem to know more about Cassie than she does about herself. As Cassie gets to know her high school classmates, including sweet-natured Diana and her handsome boyfriend Adam, brooding loner Nick, mean-girl Faye and her sidekick Melissa, strange and frightening things begin to happen. When her new friends explain that they are all descended from powerful witches, and they’ve been waiting for Cassie to join them and complete a new generation of the Secret Circle, Cassie refuses to believe them – until Adam shows her how to unlock her incredible magical powers. But it’s not until Cassie discovers a message from her mother in an old leather-bound book of spells hidden in her mother’s childhood bedroom, that she understands her true and dangerous destiny. What Cassie and the others don’t yet know is that darker powers are at play, powers that might be linked to the adults in the town, including Diana’s father and Faye’s mother – and that Cassie’s mother’s death might not have been an accident. The series stars Britt Robertson as Cassie Blake, Thomas Dekker as Adam Conant, Gale Harold as Charles Meade, Phoebe Tonkin as Fay Chamberlain, Jessica Parker Kennedy as Melissa, Shelley Hennig as Diana Meade, Louis Hunter as Nick, Ashley Crow as Jane Blake and Natasha Henstridge as Dawn Chamberlain. Based upon the book series by L.J. Smith (author of “The Vampire Diaries” book series), THE SECRET CIRCLE is from Outerbanks Entertainment and Alloy Entertainment in association with Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios with executive producers Kevin Williamson (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Scream,” “Dawson’s Creek”), Andrew Miller (“Imaginary Bitches”), Leslie Morgenstein (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Gossip Girl”) and Gina Girolamo. Elizabeth Craft (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Lie To Me”) & Sarah Fain (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Lie To Me”) were executive producers on the pilot which was directed by Liz Friedlander (“The Vampire Diaries,” “90210”).
FRIDAY
8:00-9:00 P.M.“Nikita”
In season one of this sexy and suspenseful series featuring international action star Maggie Q in the title role, the charming and deadly Nikita waged a war against Division, the agency that created her. Michael — the man who trained her, a man she trusted — was hunting her. But Nikita had an ace up her sleeve: Alex, a girl she trained to infiltrate this secret unit of the government. At the end of season one, Nikita and Alex’s relationship had been shattered, and Nikita and Michael’s relationship was restored. Now, Nikita and Michael are on the run with a hard drive containing the government’s darkest secrets and conspiracies. Together, they are going to right the wrongs that Division has committed over the years, one mission at a time. But leading the hunt for them this time is Alex…and she knows all of Nikita’s tricks. The series stars Maggie Q as Nikita, Lyndsy Fonseca as Alex, Shane West as Michael, Aaron Stanford as Birkhoff, with Melinda Clarke as Amanda and Xander Berkeley as Percy. Nikita is from Warner Bros. Television in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, with executive producers Craig Silverstein (“Bones,” “K-Ville”), David Levinson (“The Commish”), Danny Cannon (“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “Chuck”), McG (“Supernatural,” “Chuck,” “The O.C.,” “Charlie’s Angels”) and Peter Johnson (“Supernatural,” “Chuck”).
9:00-10:00 P.M.“SUPERNATURAL”
Returning for its seventh season, this haunting series follows Sam and Dean Winchester, two brothers bound by tragedy and blood to the one thing that runs through both their veins ? hunting monsters. This past season, Dean and Sam faced insurmountable obstacles: Sam returned from Hell without his soul, and Dean risked everything to get it back for him. The power struggle between good and evil raged on, with the new King of Hell, Crowley, ultimately emerging as their adversary. Shockingly, Crowley had made a secret deal with Sam and Dean’s closest friend, the angel Castiel, who is now a desperate freedom fighter on the losing side of a post-Apocalyptic civil war in Heaven; together, the uneasy allies sought to open a door to Purgatory, where a great untapped well of souls lie waiting to be used as the ultimate form of military power. Sam and Dean reeled from the betrayal by their friend — and raced to stop the angel and demon before they opened that dangerous, otherworldly door. Now, in season seven, the Winchesters will find themselves in an increasingly sinister, changing landscape, up against a new foe unlike anything they’ve ever fought. They’ll find their old tricks, weapons and hiding places all rendered useless. All they’ll have is each other. And the certainty that, like the last of the cowboy outlaws, whatever they face, they’re not going down without a fight. The series stars Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester, Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester and Misha Collins as Castiel. SUPERNATURAL is from Warner Bros. Television in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, with executive producers McG (“Charlie’s Angels,” “The O.C.”), Robert Singer (“Midnight Caller”), Sera Gamble and Phil Sgriccia.
MIDSEASON
“RE-MODELED”
Modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher is planning to bring together hundreds of small agencies around the world in a new venture called The Network. The Network will give Paul the leverage to change the industry from the inside out. He has two missions: to make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed, and to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives. RE-MODELED is from Fly on the Wall Entertainment and Sony Pictures Television with executive producers Allison Grodner (“Big Brother,” “You’re Cut Off,” “She’s Got The Look,” “Plain Jane”), Rich Meehan (“Big Brother,” “You’re Cut Off,” “She’s Got The Look,” “Plain Jane”), Amy Palmer (“You’re Cut Off,” “Plain Jane”), Paul Fisher (“I Want To Be A Hilton”), Greg Seuss (“What’s Wrong with Virginia,” “Tug”) and Erik Stone (“Aisha Tyler Is Lit: Live at the Fillmore”).
“THE FRAME”
What happens when your whole life is reduced to one Frame? There’s only one rule: if you’re out of the Frame, you’re out of the game. Ten teams of two, chosen for their dynamic personalities and their existing deep-rooted relationships, are selected to compete in this wild social experiment. These teams will each live in one Frame – a stripped down version of their home living space – for up to 8 weeks, with the entire world watching their inter-personal soap operas play out atop a highly formatted game. Couples cannot physically see one another, but each “frame” is rigged with plasma screens & communication devices that allow for visual and verbal interaction. The teams will face outrageous challenges, punishments, head-to-head competitions, and eliminations, all while isolated from the outside world. With 24/7 web cams streaming content live, and a bi-weekly television show, audiences will vote for – and have control over – many elements of the show, from rewards to punishments to eliminations. The last couple standing will be America’s favorite pair, and walk away with a cash prize. THE FRAME is from Shed Media and Armoza International Media with executive producers Nick Emmerson (“Bethenny Ever After,” “Supernanny,” “Who Do You Think You Are,” “The Real Housewives of New York City”) and Jen O’Connell (“Bethenny Ever After,” “Supernanny,” “Who Do You Think You Are,” “The Real Housewives of New York City”).
FOX announced their primetime 2011 – 2012 schedule earlier ahead of their press release at the upfront advertising event and we have all the information posted right here. What we unfortunately didn’t get was nice little neat synopses of all the new shows that will be gracing our living rooms in 2011 – 2012. So, a little while later, FOX obliged and issued an actual press release announcing the schedule and issuing those nice little synopses we like so much here. They certainly make out life easier when we have to do the layouts for the reviews so we can tell you how awful they are.
"The 'Tastic Says... YOU FAIL!"
We aren’t going to publish the whole Press Release because it’s ridiculously long and we already published the schedule. We’re just going to publish the synopses and critique them, TV-Tastic-Style but if you must read the whole thing, you can just go here.
Via Press Release:
FOX 2011-2012 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE
NEW SERIES SYNOPSES
The new unscripted series launching this fall is:
The X Factor
Simon Cowell returns to FOX in the award-winning international phenomenon The X Factor. This new competition series, hosted by Nicole Scherzinger and Steve Jones, gives viewers the opportunity to help choose the next global superstar or breakout music group. The X Factor judges will travel the nation searching for undiscovered talent 12 years old or over – both solo artists and vocal groups – who are willing to brave the panel for a chance to make their dreams come true. Auditions for The X Factor were held this spring in Los Angeles, CA; Miami, FL; Newark, NJ; Seattle, WA; Chicago, IL; and Dallas, TX. In a departure from other singing competition series, the first time a contestant auditions for judges Simon Cowell, Antonio “L.A.” Reid, Cheryl Cole and Paula Abdul, he/she will do so in front of an audience of thousands – raising the stakes and increasing the pressure to impress not only the judges, but also a potential legion of fans. This will be the ultimate test to prove they have the vocal ability, charisma and stage presence it takes to become a global superstar or breakout music act and win a $5 million recording contract with Syco/Sony Music. Those contestants who survive the first auditions graduate to “boot camp” and will be divided into four categories. Each category will be mentored by one of the show’s judges. Not only is it a competition between the hopefuls to stake their claim for the coveted win, but it’s also a showdown among the judges as to whose acts will dominate the competition and make it to the finals. The judges may have their say in how the competition progresses, but it will be up to America to decide who ultimately has The X Factor.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: Syco Television, FremantleMedia North America
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Simon Cowell, Rob Wade, Siobhan Greene, Cecile Frot-Coutaz, Richard Holloway, Andrew Llinares
JUDGES: Simon Cowell, Antonio “L.A.” Reid, Cheryl Cole, Paula Abdul
HOSTS: Nicole Scherzinger, Steve Jones
The ‘Tastic Says: Gee, We wonder if this show is going to be a hit. Let’s be honest, this show is going to print its own money and since it’s got both Simon Cowell and now, Paula Abdul, well, there’s finally a singing competition worth our time again on FOX and as we all go to he mall and have to spend our X-Factor dollars with Simon Cowell’s face on them, we will say thank you, sir.
The following new comedies will premiere this fall on FOX:
I Hate My Teenage Daughter (working title)
I HATE MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER (working title) is a new multi-camera comedy about two best friends who are single moms struggling to raise their difficult and over-privileged teenage daughters. ANNIE (Emmy Award winner Jaime Pressly, “My Name Is Earl”) and NIKKI (Tony Award winner Katie Finneran, “Wonderfalls”) are former high school outcasts whose pasts inform their current parenting styles. Annie, who was raised in an ultra-strict, über-religious household where she had little-to-no freedom, pretty much allows her daughter, SOPHIE (Kristi Lauren, “You”), to do whatever she wants. Nikki, once an unpopular, overweight social pariah, has reinvented herself as a pretty Southern belle whose top priority is providing her daughter, MACKENZIE (Aisha Dee, “Dead Gorgeous”), with the childhood she never had. Sophie and Mackenzie are also best friends, which leads to a lot of co-parenting for Annie and Nikki. They have given the girls everything they asked for and everything they never had: clothes, money and self-esteem. The unintended consequence is they have created two mean girls just like the ones who tortured them years ago. Sophie finds her mother embarrassing and mocks her at every opportunity, but she secretly needs her mom and knows that her behavior is not always appropriate. Mackenzie, on the other hand, is the more manipulative of the daughters – she knows how to work her mother’s insecurities to her benefit. Annie’s ex-husband, MATT (Eric Sheffer Stevens, “As The World Turns”), wants to be a good parent, but is too clueless to know what that even means. That leaves his brother, JACK (Kevin Rahm, “Desperate Housewives,” “Judging Amy”), an attractive, high-powered attorney, to serve as more of a father figure for Sophie. Jack’s meddling would annoy Annie more if she didn’t have such a crush on him. GARY (Chad Coleman, “The Wire”), Nikki’s ex, also tries to help raise his challenging daughter, but the couple’s complicated relationship often makes his involvement more difficult. As their daughters begin to experience their first high school dances and other life-changing teen events, Annie and Nikki are often reminded of their own tortured adolescent years. But when Sophie and Mackenzie’s mean-girl antics cross the line, the moms quickly realize that they must, for the first time, dole out some real punishment and fix what is broken. They have no idea how to do that, but they do know one thing: They can’t do it without each other.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: Warner Bros. Television, Bonanza Productions Inc.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Sherry Bilsing-Graham, Ellen Kreamer, Andy Ackerman
WRITERS: Sherry Bilsing-Graham, Ellen Kreamer
DIRECTOR: Andy Ackerman
CAST: Jaime Pressly as Annie Watson, Katie Finneran as Nikki Miller, Kristi Lauren as Sophie, Aisha Dee as Mackenzie, Eric Sheffer Stevens as Matt, Kevin Rahm as Jack, Chad Coleman as Gary.
The ‘Tastic Says: We hate comedies anyway and they are usually pretty horrible on FOX to begin with. Unlike Raising Hope, Traffic Light, and Breaking In, this show doesn’t seem like an exception. Sorry, but bratty teenage-girl bullies just don’t appeal to us nor do clichéd sitcoms. This show hasn’t aired a single episode and we already hate all of the characters. Also, is that the set from Becker?
New Girl (working title)
NEW GIRL (working title) is a new single-camera comedy from Liz Meriwether (“No Strings Attached”) that features a young ensemble cast and takes a fresh and outrageous look at modern male/female relationships. JESS DAY (Zooey Deschanel, “(500) Days of Summer”) is an offbeat and adorable girl in her late 20s who, after a bad breakup, moves in with three single guys. Goofy, positive, vulnerable and honest to a fault, Jess has faith in people, even when she shouldn’t. Although she’s dorky and awkward, she’s comfortable in her own skin. More prone to friendships with women, she’s not used to hanging with the boys – especially at home. Of the three male roommates, NICK (Jake Johnson, “No Strings Attached”) is the most grounded. He had big plans for life, but somewhere along the way, he stopped caring and became a bartender. Usually the smartest guy in the room, he has an uncanny knack for reading people and uses humor to deflect everyone and everything. SCHMIDT (Max Greenfield, “Ugly Betty”) is a hustling young professional who fancies himself a modern-day Casanova. Though his heart is usually in the right place, he’s always scheming ways to climb the social ladder and is driven by an immature and almost obsessive urge to be on “the scene.” Viewing Jess as a gateway into the elusive female mind, as well as a personal project, Schmidt encourages the guys to bring Jess into the apartment. The third roommate, COACH (Damon Wayans Jr., “The Underground”), is a former high school athlete who currently makes his living as a personal trainer. Set in his ways and with a take-it-or-leave-it attitude to dating, Coach is most comfortable when he’s in the gym. Though he’ll never admit it, Coach’s macho athletic exterior is actually a cover for his shyness around women, and he struggles to translate his personal confidence into conversation, preferring to speak in sports metaphors – or not at all. Rounding out this group is Jess’ childhood best friend, CECE (Hannah Simone, “Beautiful People”), a deadpan, somewhat cynical model who blossomed after outgrowing her promiscuous adolescent years. She has the street smarts Jess lacks and spends a lot of time doling out no-nonsense relationship advice that only a professional model could give. She and Jess balance each other well and accept each other despite their faults, making Cece the perfect complement to Jess. As their relationships progress, the five friends come to realize they need each other more than they ever thought they would and end up forming a charmingly dysfunctional family.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, Chernin Entertainment
CREATOR/WRITER: Liz Meriwether
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Liz Meriwether, Jake Kasdan, Peter Chernin, Katherine Pope, Dave Finkel, Brett Baer
DIRECTOR: Jake Kasdan
CAST: Zooey Deschanel as Jess, Max Greenfield as Schmidt, Jake Johnson as Nick, Hannah Simone as Cece, Damon Wayans Jr. as Coach
The ‘Tastic Says: At the risk of repeating ourselves, we hate comedies anyway and they are usually pretty horrible on FOX to begin with. This show actually doesn’t look absolutely horrible (actually it looks kind of sweet and endearing), but it’s just not our cup of tea. But then, again, we were dead-wrong on Raising Hope so we’ll give it a shot despite that it’s got that My Boys vibe to it.
The new animated comedy joining the FOX schedule this fall is:
Allen Gregory
ALLEN GREGORY is a new animated comedy series that tells the story of one of the most pretentious 7-year-olds of our time. When he looks in the mirror, ALLEN GREGORY DE LONGPRE (Jonah Hill, “Superbad,” “Get Him to the Greek”) doesn’t see a child. He sees a young man who is intelligent, sophisticated, worldly, artistic and romantic – characteristics he inherited from his doting father, RICHARD (French Stewart, “Private Practice,” “3rdRock from the Sun”). The pair share an extraordinary father-son bond – a bond that is sometimes annoyingly interrupted by Richard’s life partner, JEREMY (Nat Faxon, The Cleveland Show, “Reno 911!”), for whom Allen Gregory has minimal respect, if any at all. They live together in a stunning architectural loft, along with JULIE (Joy Osmanski, “Grey’s Anatomy”), Allen Gregory’s adopted Cambodian sister. Although Allen Gregory has allegedly composed operas, written novels and dated Chloë Sevigny, he’s about to embark on his greatest challenge yet: leaving the safety of his father’s homeschooling and attending elementary school with children his own age. His journey will be a struggle, not only with the other kids at school, but with the faculty as well. Whether it’s the all-out rivalry with GINA WINTHROP (guest voice Leslie Mann, “Funny People”), his by-the-book second grade teacher; his unique relationship with JUDITH GOTTLIEB (guest voice Renée Taylor, “How I Met Your Mother”), his 68-year-old principal; or his desperate desire to be best friends with JOEL ZADAK (guest voice Jake Johnson, “Get Him to the Greek”), the school’s popular stud, Allen Gregory has his work cut out for him. With the help of his trusty friend and assistant, PATRICK VANDERWEEL (Cristina Pucelli, “Finley the Fire Engine”); and the support of SUPERINTENDENT STEWART ROSSMYRE (Will Forte, “Saturday Night Live”), who believes the De Longpres are a tremendous asset to the school, Allen Gregory won’t have to get his hands too dirty. ALLEN GREGORY is about an outsider. And while he may put on a tough exterior, deep down, all Allen Gregory wants is to fit in. Well, that, and for Julie to run away and never be seen or heard from again. And Jeremy too.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, Chernin Entertainment
CREATORS: Jonah Hill, Andrew Mogel, Jarrad Paul
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Jonah Hill, Andrew Mogel, Jarrad Paul, Peter Chernin, Katherine Pope, David A. Goodman
VOICE CAST: Jonah Hill as Allen Gregory De Longpre, Nat Faxon as Jeremy, French Stewart as Richard, Joy Osmanski as Julie, Cristina Pucelli as Patrick, Will Forte as Superintendent Rossmyre
GUEST VOICE CAST: Leslie Mann as Ms. Winthrop, Jake Johnson as Joel, Renée Taylor as Principal Gottlieb
The ‘Tastic Says: There’s a reason FOX only ordered seven episodes of this. It looks absolutely horrific but the one promising thing that we can say is that at least it’s animated and we won’t have to look at Jonah Hill. Seriously, did someone at FOX just say, “Hey, look… a Stewie Griffin knock-off! That will make a good show for the idiotic masses on Sunday night! Hell, they’re still watching Bob’s Burgers and The Cleveland Show aren’t they?”
The following new drama will debut this Fall on FOX:
Terra Nova
From executive producers Steven Spielberg (“Saving Private Ryan,” “Jurassic Park”), Peter Chernin, René Echevarria (“Castle,” “The 4400”) and Brannon Braga (“24”) comes an epic family adventure 85 million years in the making. TERRA NOVA follows an ordinary family on an incredible journey back in time to prehistoric Earth as a small part of a daring experiment to save the human race. In the year 2149, the world is dying. The planet is overdeveloped and overcrowded, with the majority of plant and animal life extinct. The future of mankind is in jeopardy, and its only hope for survival is in the distant past. When scientists at the FERMI Particle Accelerator unexpectedly discovered a fracture in time that made it possible to construct a portal into primeval history, the bold notion was born to resettle humanity in the past – a second chance to rebuild civilization and get it right this time. The series centers on the Shannon family as they join the Tenth Pilgrimage of settlers to Terra Nova, the first colony established in this beautiful yet foreboding land. JIM SHANNON (Jason O’Mara, “Life on Mars”), a devoted father with a checkered past, guides his family through this new world of limitless beauty, mystery and terror. Jim’s wife, ELISABETH (Shelley Conn, “Mistresses”), is a trauma surgeon and the newest addition to Terra Nova’s medical team. JOSH (Landon Liboiron, “Degrassi: The Next Generation”) is their 17-year-old son who is angry to leave life as he knows it behind; upon arriving at the settlement, he finds himself instantly drawn to the beautiful and rule-breaking SKYE (Allison Miller, “Kings”). MADDY (Naomi Scott, “Life Bites”), Josh’s endearingly awkward 15-year-old sister, hopes Terra Nova will give her a chance to reinvent herself. Although Elisabeth’s medical training secured the family a spot on the pilgrimage, a secret involving their five-year-old daughter, ZOE (newcomer Alana Mansour), soon endangers their place in this utopia. Upon the Shannons’ arrival, they are introduced to COMMANDER NATHANIEL TAYLOR (Stephen Lang, “Avatar”), the charismatic and heroic first pioneer and leader of the settlement. Taylor warns the travelers that while Terra Nova is a place of new opportunities and fresh beginnings, all is not as idyllic as it initially appears. Along with blue skies, towering waterfalls and lush vegetation, the surrounding terrain is teeming with danger – and not just of the man-eating dinosaur variety. There is also a splinter colony of renegades led by the battle-hardened MIRA (Christine Adams, “TRON: Legacy”), who is vehemently opposed to Taylor and his leadership. Even more threatening than what lies outside the protective walls of the colony is the chilling possibility that something sinister is happening inside Terra Nova. The Shannons will come to suspect that not everyone on this mission has the same idea of how to best save mankind; in fact, there may be forces intent on destroying this new world before it even begins.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, Chernin Entertainment, DreamWorks Television, Kapital Entertainment
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Steven Spielberg, Peter Chernin, René Echevarria, Brannon Braga, Alex Graves (pilot), Jon Cassar, Aaron Kaplan, Katherine Pope, Justin Falvey, Darryl Frank, Craig Silverstein, Kelly Marcel
DIRECTOR: Alex Graves
CAST: Jason O’Mara as Jim Shannon, Stephen Lang as Nathaniel Taylor, Shelley Conn as Elisabeth Shannon, Landon Liboiron as Josh Shannon, Naomi Scott as Maddy Shannon, Alana Mansour as Zoe Shannon, Christine Adams as Mira, Allison Miller as Skye.
The ‘Tastic Says: *sigh* We love everything about this, we just don’t think it has a snowball’s chance in Terra Nova to survive. FOX must know that epic SciFi on Network Television is dead and buried. Heck, they won’t even acknowledge that it is a SciFi show. Notice how they are calling it an “epic family adventure” Brannon Braga went so far as to say, “It’s really about this frontier family trying to survive.” Sure it is. This is the most expensive show in television history. We’re concerned that it could be disastrous for FOX.
The two new dramas set to debut midseason are:
The Finder
Iraq war veteran WALTER SHERMAN (Geoff Stults, “She’s Out of My League”) gained a reputation while serving in the Army Military Police as someone who was very good at tracking down insurgents, deserters and improvised explosive devices (IEDs). Unfortunately, Walter found one IED just moments before it found him. Two months later, when Walter woke from his coma, he earned an honorable discharge and returned home. His resulting brain damage from the explosion transformed him from someone skilled at recovering people and things into something much more extraordinary: a Finder. From the creator of the hit series Bones comes THE FINDER, the new one-hour procedural centering on a remarkable man who uses his unique gift to help others recover what they’ve lost. Walter may have left the military, but his reputation as a discreet professional who can unearth anything and anyone has been passed on to generals, politicians and other powerful figures. His first post-military assignment was to find the CIA head honcho’s missing daughter and bring her home. Walter did both, and since then has never been without an assignment. After settling in Key West, Walter met the beautiful and worldly IKE LATULIPPE (Saffron Burrows, “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”), a woman with a mysterious past and many hidden skills. She tends bar at The Ends of the Earth, which also serves as a makeshift office and home base for Walter. Walter helped Ike escape a dangerous life, and for that, she is eternally grateful. Another island denizen dedicated to Walter is LEO KNOX (Michael Clarke Duncan, “The Green Mile”), once an obese lawyer who, after the deaths of his wife and children, completely reinvented himself into a gentle giant, philosopher and Walter’s legal advisor. Because of his skills, Walter is often asked to find a person or a thing that law enforcement either will not or cannot find. With the help of Ike and Leo, as well as a patchwork of indebted connections, he and his team ultimately find meaning in their own lives by finding something or someone other people have lost.
PRODUCTION COMPANY: 20th Century Fox Television
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Hart Hanson, Dan Sackheim, Barry Josephson
WRITER: Hart Hanson
DIRECTOR: Dan Sackheim
CAST: Geoff Stults as Walter Sherman, Michael Clarke Duncan as Leo Knox, Saffron Burrows as Ike Latulippe.
The ‘Tastic Says: We’re not fans of Bones. It’s not bad, it’s just a vanilla procedural. The Finder, however, seems quite interesting. We’re always willing to give a procedural a shot when they put a unique twist on it. This reminds of the A&E hit, The Glades.
Alcatraz
From executive producer J.J. Abrams (FRINGE, “Lost,” “Star Trek” and the upcoming “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” and “Super 8”) and writer and executive producer Elizabeth Sarnoff (“Lost,” “Deadwood”) comes ALCATRAZ, the chilling new thriller centered on America’s most infamous prison and one-time home to the nation’s most notorious murderers, rapists, kidnappers, thieves and arsonists. When San Francisco Police Department DET. REBECCA MADSEN (Sarah Jones, “Sons Of Anarchy”) is assigned to a grisly homicide case, a fingerprint leads her to a shocking suspect: JACK SYLVANE (guest star Jeffrey Pierce, “The Nine”), a former Alcatraz inmate who died decades ago. Given her family history – both her grandfather and surrogate uncle, RAY ARCHER (Robert Forster, “Jackie Brown”), were guards at the prison – Madsen’s interest is immediately piqued, and once the enigmatic, knows-everything-but-tells-nothing government agent EMERSON HAUSER (Sam Neill, “Jurassic Park”) tries to impede her investigation, she’s doggedly committed. Madsen turns to Alcatraz expert and comic book enthusiast, DR. DIEGO “DOC” SOTO (Jorge Garcia, “Lost”), to piece together the inexplicable sequence of events. The twosome discovers that Sylvane is not only alive, but he’s loose on the streets of San Francisco, leaving bodies in his wake. And strangely, he hasn’t aged a day since he was in Alcatraz, when the prison was ruled by the iron-fisted WARDEN EDWIN JAMES (Jonny Coyne, “Undercovers”) and the merciless ASSOCIATE WARDEN E.B. TILLER (Jason Butler Harner, “The Changeling”). Madsen and Soto reluctantly team with Agent Hauser and his technician, LUCY BANERJEE (Parminder Nagra, “ER”), to stop Sylvane’s vengeful killing spree. By delving into Alcatraz history, government cover-ups and Rebecca’s own heritage, the team will ultimately discover that Sylvane is only a small part of a much larger, more sinister present-day threat. For while he may be the first, it quickly becomes clear that Sylvane won’t be the last prisoner to reappear from Alcatraz. Through the course of the investigation, Madsen and Soto will learn that Agent Hauser has known about the prison’s secret history and has been awaiting the prisoners’ return. Soto will witness his life’s work – the history of Alcatraz – come alive. Madsen will be forced to keep her supportive San Francisco cop fiancé, JIMMY DICKENS (Santiago Cabrera, “Heroes”), at arm’s length from the highly classified assignment as she sees everything she thought she knew about her family’s past shattered, all while fighting to keep the country safe from history’s most dangerous criminals.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: Bad Robot Productions, Warner Bros. Television, Bonanza Productions Inc.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: J.J. Abrams, Bryan Burk, Elizabeth Sarnoff, Danny Cannon (pilot)
WRITERS: Elizabeth Sarnoff, Steven Lilien, Bryan Wynbrandt
DIRECTOR: Danny Cannon
CAST: Sarah Jones as Det. Rebecca Madsen, Jorge Garcia as Dr. Diego “Doc” Soto, Sam Neill as Emerson Hauser, Parminder Nagra as Lucy Banerjee, Robert Forster as Ray Archer, Santiago Cabrera as Jimmy Dickens, Jonny Coyne as Warden Edwin James, Jason Butler Harner as Associate Warden E.B. Tiller
GUEST CAST: Jeffrey Pierce as Jack Sylvane
The ‘Tastic Says: OK, for everyone with Lost withdrawal like us, this is the show we’ve been waiting for. Looks like Lost meets Fringe meets Prison Break. We just hope the Losties transfer over to FOX and find what will no doubt be a gem of a show from J.J. Abrams. The smartest thing that they have done with this show is to air it mid-season, meaning ZERO hiatuses which exactly what needs to be done with serials during this era for any hope of success.
The following new animated comedy will premiere in midseason on FOX:
Napoleon Dynamite
Based on the hit film, NAPOLEON DYNAMITE is an animated series that follows the continuing adventures of America’s most awesome awkward teenager and his quirky family and friends as they struggle to navigate small-town life in rural Idaho. The original cast from the film – Jon Heder, Aaron Ruell, Efren Ramirez, Tina Majorino, Sandy Martin, Jon Gries and Diedrich Bader – will voice their characters in the series, and many new characters will be added along the way. NAPOLEON DYNAMITE (Heder) is a 16-year-old boy convinced – for no apparent reason – that he is destined for greatness and blessed with unlimited “sweet abilities.” He spends his days practicing ninja moves, drawing ligers, soul dancing and bragging about his “girlfriend in Oklahoma” whom nobody has ever seen. Napoleon’s brother, KIP (Ruell), is an unemployed 32-year-old who lives at home and believes he would be an amazing catch for any girl who would respond to his online come-ons. The Dynamite brothers live with GRANDMA (Martin), a crusty woman who can often be found four-wheeling with her lady friends at the local sand dunes. Napoleon’s allies include PEDRO (Ramirez), his unflappable best friend who has recently been elected class president; and DEB (Majorino), an incredibly sweet girl who sees the good in Napoleon and dreams of someday being his wife. Napoleon’s UNCLE RICO (Gries) lives out of an orange custom van, where he obsesses over his botched high school football career and dreams up ways to become rich and famous. Then there’s REX KWON DO (Bader), a self-proclaimed martial-arts master who runs the local dojo. Guest voices in the debut season include Jennifer Coolidge (“American Pie,” “Legally Blonde”), Sam Rockwell (“Choke”) and Jemaine Clement (“Flight of the Conchords”).
PRODUCTION COMPANY: 20th Century Fox Television
CREATORS/EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Jared Hess, Jerusha Hess, Mike Scully
VOICE CAST: Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite, Jon Gries as Uncle Rico, Aaron Ruell as Kip, Efren Ramirez as Pedro, Diedrich Bader as Rex, Tina Majorino as Deb, Sandy Martin as Grandma.
The ‘Tastic Says: Oh, you’ve gotta be f*cking kidding us! Who’s brilliant idea was it to pick up an animated series based on a film that was a gimmick that wasn’t that funny to begin with when it aired seven years ago? We’ve gotten married and had three kids since this was popular (no joke), for Pete’s sake. As with Allen Gregory, we think there’s a reason FOX only ordered six episodes of this.
The following drama is in development and slated for midseason:
Touch
From writer/creator Tim Kring (“Heroes,” “Crossing Jordan”) and executive producers Peter Chernin and Katherine Pope comes TOUCH, a preternatural drama in which science and spirituality intersect with the hopeful premise that we are all interconnected, tied in invisible ways to those whose lives we are destined to alter and impact. Through masterful storytelling, the series follows a group of seemingly unrelated characters – beginning with a former firefighter tormented by his inability to save a dying woman, an Iraqi teenager who will go to great risks to help his family, a gifted singer whose actions at a karaoke bar save lives thousands of miles away and a British businessman desperately trying to retrieve a key piece of information from his lost mobile phone – who affect each other in ways seen and unseen. At the center is MARTIN BOHM (Kiefer Sutherland, “24”), a widower and single father, haunted by an inability to connect to his mute, severely autistic 10-year-old son, JAKE. Caring, intelligent and thoughtful, Martin has tried everything to reach his son who shows little emotion and never allows himself to be touched by anyone, including Martin. Jake busies himself with cast-off cell phones, disassembling them and manipulating the parts, allowing him to see the world in his own special way. After multiple failed attempts at keeping Jake in school, Martin is visited by social worker CLEA HOPKINS, who insists on doing an evaluation of the Bohms’ living situation. Although new at her job, Clea sees a man whose life has become dominated by a child he can no longer control. She believes his attempts to communicate with Jake are just wish fulfillment, and determines that it’s time for the state to intervene. But everything changes when Martin discovers that Jake possesses a gift of staggering genius – the ability to see things that no one else can, the patterns that connect everything. Jake is indeed communicating after all. But it’s not with words, it’s with numbers. And now he needs Martin to decipher their meaning and connect these numbers to the cast of seemingly unrelated characters whose lives they affect. Along the way, Martin will be guided by BORIS PODOLSKY, a discredited aging professor who offers Martin a compelling but unorthodox theory about Jake and his rare ability. Whether it be chance, coincidence, timing, synergy or fate, there are events that touch us all, as part of an interconnected, dazzlingly precise universe.
PRODUCTION COMPANIES: 20th Century Fox Television, Tailwind Productions, Chernin Entertainment
CREATOR/WRITER: Tim Kring
EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Tim Kring, Francis Lawrence, Peter Chernin, Katherine Pope, Kiefer Sutherland, Suzan Bymel
DIRECTOR: Francis Lawrence
CAST: Kiefer Sutherland as Martin Bohm
The ‘Tastic Says: OK… this does look very good and very intriguing but there’s an elephant in the room regarding this: where’s it going to fit? Touch was not listed in the primetime schedule for FOX for Fall or midseason so what is FOX planning on killing by January? This show is a major player. You don’t get Tim Kring and Kiefer Sutherland and premiere them on Friday nights. Scheduling issues notwithstanding, this show is very SciFi and it better not be to confusing or it’s going to drive audiences away. Not us… no, we’re in it for the long haul but the rest of the “normies” will probably freak if it starts getting a little complicated.
Here it is, folks, direct from the FOX Upfront Advertising Event, FOX’s 2011 – 2012 Primetime Programming Schedule (scroll down for complete schedule). Please note, if you don’t see your favorite show from this season, recent cancellations have been covered here, however as we reported, the status of Breaking In is reported to be still up in the air.
If you have any questions about other shows, post them below.
Some programming notes:
Some solid scripted shows, however the new comedies seem weak, despite the star power behind them.
The elephant in the room that is Terra Nova: The Big Gamble. Depending on how well or poorly this does could change the direction of the entire schedule. Read why we believe TN is such a big gamble, here and here. Believe us, we’re rooting for it, we’re just nervous about it and we think FOX is too. We’re still trying to figure out if they plan to run this for an entire 22 episode run because it’s nowhere on the mid-season schedule. So it’s either going for 13 episodes (which we believe would be the smarter move) or it will have an abbreviated 19 episode season non-stop through December.
New J.J. Abrams, series Alcatraz to premiere mid-season. Perhaps the smartest move of the schedule to avoid hiatuses and loss of interest by audiences of what no doubt will be a Lost-type serial.
The Cleveland Show has swapped places with American Dad, going to the less desirable 7:30 – 8:30 PM spot on Sunday and putting AD back into its longstanding 9:30 – 10:00 PM for the first half of the season. New series Allen Gregory will be in the 8:30 – 9:30 PM slot, a slot that was filled by The Cleveland Show for the first half of the season and Bob’s Burgers for the second half. This gives credence to our suggestion that we made when the announcement for AD‘s renewal was made in which the press release claimed that an order had been placed for 22 episodes, however it contradicted itself by stating that the show was renewed through 2013. We suggested that one of the only ways this would make sense would be if AD was going to get half-season treatment, although we did find that scenario the most unlikely. This could change, however depending on the success/failure of AG and ND.
We’re not expecting a whole lot from AG and ND and we don’t think FOX is either. We explain why here. We expect these shows to both be canceled pretty quickly as the two had seven and six episodes orders, respectively. We hear that FOX has at least two more animated shows in the hopper waiting to go, though, just in case.
Finally, keep in mind that an NFL lockout is looming. This could send ripples through the entire FOX schedule.
So without further adieu:
FOX FALL 2011 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE (All Times ET/PT)
MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM Terra Nova(NEW!)
9:00-10:00 PM House
TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM Glee
9:00-9:30 PM The New Girl(NEW!)
9:30-10:00 PM Raising Hope
WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:30 PM The X-Factor(NEW!)
9:30-10:00 PM I Hate My Teenage Daughter(NEW!)
THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM The X-Factor(Results Show)(NEW!)
9:00-10:00 PM Bones
SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM The OT (NFL post-game show)
7:30-8:00 PM The Cleveland Show
8:00-8:30 PM The Simpsons
8:30-9:00 PM Allen Gregory(NEW!)
9:00-9:30 PM Family Guy
9:30-10:00 PM American Dad
FOX MIDSEASON 2012 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE (All Times ET/PT)
MONDAY
8:00-9:00 PM House
9:00-10:00 PM Alcatraz (NEW!)
TUESDAY
8:00-9:00 PM Glee
9:00-9:30 PM The New Girl(NEW!)
9:30-10:00 PM Raising Hope
WEDNESDAY
8:00-9:30 PM American Idol
9:30-10:00 PM I Hate My Teenage Daughter(NEW!)
THURSDAY
8:00-9:00 PM American Idol (Results Show)
9:00-10:00 PM The Finder(NEW!) / Bones (Spring)
SUNDAY
7:00-7:30 PM The OT (NFL post-game)
7:30-8:00 PM The Cleveland Show
8:00-8:30 PM The Simpsons
8:30-9:00 PM Napoleon Dynamite(NEW!)
9:00-9:30 PM Family Guy
9:30-10:00 PM American Dad
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