The CW Announces Fall 2011 Schedule Premiere Dates

The CW became the first of the Big 5 Networks to announce their Fall 2011 premiere schedule yesterday.  The schedule is so incredibly awful that we don’t really care about this at all but on the bright side, at least we get to get it out of the way early.  If you wondering why it’s so awful, please refer to this and, of course, the rest of their absolute dog-crap programming as indicated below.  There are two good shows on their entire schedule and one potentially good show.  Your job: guess which ones we think they are, and please note, if Gossip Girl even entered your mind, you’ve already failed… and apparently so have we.

TUESDAY, SEPT. 13

8:00-9:00 PM 90210 (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM Ringer (NEW SHOW!)

WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 14

8:00-9:00 PM H8R (NEW SHOW!)

9:00-10:00 PM America’s Next Top Model (Season Premiere)

THURSDAY, SEPT. 15

8:00-9:00 PM The Vampire Dairies (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM The Secret Circle (NEW SHOW!)

FRIDAY, SEPT. 23

8:00-9:00 PM Nikita (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM Supernatural (Season Premiere)

MONDAY, SEPT. 26

8:00-9:00 PM Gossip Girl (Season Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM Hart of Dixie (NEW SHOW!)

Meet The CW’s New Shows For 2011 – 2012 (VIDEOS!)… And Watch How We Tear Them Apart (Preview – Review)

"The 'Tastic Says: You FAIL!"

As promised, The ‘Tastic is proud to present the first-look trailers for all of The CW’s new shows what little there are. Along with synopses and videos, in true TV-Tastic-style we’ll give you a preview assessment of each of the new series (in other words, we plan to pretty much rip most of them apart) letting you know what we think about them and if it’s worth your time to check them out this Fall and just to give everyone a heads up: Yuck.  This channel and everything about is awful (except for Nikita and Supernatural and the jury is obviously out on Ringer.).

Hart of Dixie: Fast-talking New Yorker and brand new doctor Zoe Hart has it all figured out – after graduating top of her class from medical school, she’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and become a cardio-thoracic surgeon.  But when her dreams fall apart, Zoe decides to accept an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama.  Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town only to find that Harley has passed away and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will.  She quickly finds that Southern hospitality isn’t always so hospitable – the other doctor in town, Brick Breeland, is less than pleased to be sharing the practice with this young outsider, and his daughter, Lemon, is a Southern belle whose sweet disposition turns sour when she meets Zoe.  Zoe’s only allies are the mayor, former football star Lavon Hayes, her bad-boy neighbor Wade Kinsella, and handsome lawyer George Tucker – who just happens to be Lemon’s fiancé.  Zoe is out of her element and ready to pack her bags, but a surprise visit by her snobby New York mother leads to Zoe’s decision to stay in Bluebell for a while, discovering small-town life and a side of herself she hadn’t known was there.

The ‘Tastic says: This is so awful we don’t know where to begin.  It is puke-in-your-mouth awful.  Let’s start with the obvious and that this is a less endearing recycling of the 1991 Michael J. Fox film, Doc Hollywood, however, we are so used to premises being recycled on television (and of course the typically clichéd “fish-out-of-water” premise), that this is the least of our problems.  Could this show be any more offensive with its stereotypes and mean spiritedness?  Seriously, this seems like a show that David E. Kelley would come up eith about the hip, young progressive doctor who goes down south to give them all a lesson in Northeast political sensibilities.  Seriously, what the holy f*ck is this?  And is there anyone that’s not heavily medicated that believes that Rachel Bilson is A.) a doctor and B.) a “fast talking New Yorker?”  Where’s the accent?  Oh, that’s right… she’s from L.A. and is a mediocre actor who can’t learn accents.  This is so bad that we decided to present both the preview clip and the trailer just so you can see how horrible it really is.


Ringer:  Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a woman who, after witnessing a murder, goes on the run, hiding out by assuming the life of her wealthy identical twin sister – only to learn that her sister’s seemingly idyllic life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she’s trying to leave behind.  Bridget is six months sober and starting to turn her life around when she is the sole witness to a professional hit.  Despite the assurances of her FBI protector, Agent Victor Machado, Bridget knows her life is on the line.  She flees to New York, telling no one, not even her Narcotics Anonymous sponsor, Malcolm.  In New York, Bridget reunites with her estranged twin, Siobhan.  Wealthy, pampered and married to the strikingly handsome Andrew Martin, Siobhan lives what appears to be a fairy tale life – a life where no one knows that Bridget exists.  The Sisters seem to be mending their frayed relationship, until Siobhan disappears mysteriously, and Bridget makes the split decision to take on her sister’s identity.  She discovers shocking secrets, not only about her sister and her marriage, but also about Siobhan’s best friend, Gemma, and Gemma’s husband, Henry.  And when someone tries to kill Bridget in her sister’s penthouse, she realizes she is no safer as Siobhan than she is as herself.

The ‘Tastic says:  It’s very difficult to tell if this series is going to be any good or not.  The trailers are very confusing but on paper, the show seems like it could be a very good thriller even it is convoluted.  There are several different sneak preview clips on YouTube for you to explore if you want to try to make heads or tails of what’s going on with this show.  Check them out, here. 

H8R:  Celebrities go head-to-head with civilians who hate them to win their “haters” over.  Hosted by Mario Lopez, H8R is from Horizon Alternative Television with executive producers Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey (“Extra”), Jeremy Spiegel (“Extra”) and Mario Lopez.

The ‘Tastic says:  This series looks silly, but not awful.  We wouldn’t exactly call it appointment television, though.  Great show description, too, by the way.  There’s no YouTube video available for it but you can watch the trailers at The CW’s site, here.

The Secret Circle:  Cassie Blake was a happy, normal teenage girl – until her mother Amelia dies in what appears to be a tragic accidental fire.  Orphaned and deeply saddened, Cassie moves in with her warm and loving grandmother Jane in the beautiful small town of Chance Harbor, Washington – the town her mother left so many years before – where the residents seem to know more about Cassie than she does about herself.  As Cassie gets to know her high school classmates, including sweet-natured Diana and her handsome boyfriend Adam, brooding loner Nick, mean-girl Faye and her sidekick Melissa, strange and frightening things begin to happen.  When her new friends explain that they are all descended from powerful witches, and they’ve been waiting for Cassie to join them and complete a new generation of the Secret Circle, Cassie refuses to believe them – until Adam shows her how to unlock her incredible magical powers.  But it’s not until Cassie discovers a message from her mother in an old leather-bound book of spells hidden in her mother’s childhood bedroom, that she understands her true and dangerous destiny.  What Cassie and the others don’t yet know is that darker powers are at play, powers that might be linked to the adults in the town, including Diana’s father and Faye’s mother – and that Cassie’s mother’s death might not have been an accident.

The ‘Tastic says:  It’s very hard to be overly judgmental about crap like this, and make no mistake, it is crap, but it certainly appeals to a certain segment of the audience, the segment of the audience that the CW is targeting with all of their programming: young women in their teens and early twenties.  If you like The Vampire Diaries you’ll probably like this because it’s based on the books from the same author as that stupid series. We won’t as we prefer shows that are for adults. 

MIDSEASON

Re-Modeled:  Modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher is planning to bring together hundreds of small agencies around the world in a new venture called The Network.  The Network will give Paul the leverage to change the industry from the inside out.  He has two missions: to make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed, and to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives.  

The ‘Tastic says:  Next…  and of course, The CW is hiding this from YouTube. Watch a clip, here.

The Frame:  What happens when your whole life is reduced to one Frame?  There’s only one rule: if you’re out of the Frame, you’re out of the game.  Ten teams of two, chosen for their dynamic personalities and their existing deep-rooted relationships, are selected to compete in this wild social experiment.  These teams will each live in one Frame – a stripped down version of their home living space – for up to 8 weeks, with the entire world watching their inter-personal soap operas play out atop a highly formatted game.  Couples cannot physically see one another, but each “frame” is rigged with plasma screens & communication devices that allow for visual and verbal interaction.  The teams will face outrageous challenges, punishments, head-to-head competitions, and eliminations, all while isolated from the outside world.  With 24/7 web cams streaming content live, and a bi-weekly television show, audiences will vote for – and have control over – many elements of the show, from rewards to punishments to eliminations.  The last couple standing will be America’s favorite pair, and walk away with a cash prize.

The ‘Tastic says:  Seriously, what the Hell is wrong with this network?  Is it humanly possible to air more crap than what they air?  The CW won’t even put a clip up on their own website for this so we’ve got nothing for you. Somehow, we don’t think we’re missing much.

ALERT! The CW Announces 2011 – 2012 Schedule

Here it is, folks, direct from The CW’s Upfront Advertising Event, The CW’s’s 2011 – 2012 Primetime Programming Schedule (scroll down for complete schedule).  We’ll be doing a preview assessment on all of the new shows as well as providing trailers later shorttly.

If you have any questions about other shows, post them below.

Some programming notes:

  • We’re not going to lie, most of The CW’s programming has very little appeal to us.  We really miss UPN a lot… at least old-school UPN.  Other than three shows on this network, they have gone after teenage girl demographic with both barrels and obviously this isn’t working for us.  On the other hand, The CW not only gives shows that the other Big-5 networks would never have a chance, they also don’t give up on fan favorites as they have much lower ratings standards.  The CW is like an over-the air cable channel.
  • The CW picked up six new series for 2011 – 2012… three of them reality.  Not a good sign especially for a network that only has 10 hours of programming per week.
  • As if it was a surprise, Nikita has been renewed for a second season, however it has been moved from Thursday at 9:00 p.m. to Friday at 8:00 p.m, replacing Smallville that just wrapped up after ten seasons..  This would be viewed as a disaster if the show was on another netwrok, but not with  The CW.  Friday nights have always been very good for genre on The CW and Nikita  is a perfect match for that slot.
  • One Tree Hill has been renewed for a ninth and final season, albeit with an abbreviated order of 13 episodes and will air midseason.
  • The awful Hellcats has been mercifully cancelled after one season.
  • The CW has picked up the new Sarah Michelle Gellar series, Ringer.

Via Press Release:

THE CW ANNOUNCES 2011-2012 SCHEDULE

NEW FALL SEASON FEATURES MORE ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING ALL SEASON LONG

Sarah Michelle Gellar Makes Her Return to Series Television In New Drama “Ringer”

East Coast Drama “Gossip Girl” Welcomes New Neighbor to the South, “Hart of Dixie,” Starring Rachel Bilson, on Monday Nights

“90210″ Moves To a New Tuesday Night Address, Leading Into One of the Season’s Most Buzzed-About New Shows, “Ringer,” Starring Sarah Michelle Gellar

Wednesday Pairs New Celebrity Reality Series “H8R,” Hosted by Mario Lopez, with First-Ever All-Star Edition of “America’s Next Top Model”

On Thursday, The CW’s Highest-Rated Hit “The Vampire Diaries” Teams with “The Secret Circle,” a New Drama From Kevin Williamson About a Coven of Powerful Witches

Action Thriller “Nikita” moves to Friday Nights as the Lead-In for Fan Favorite “Supernatural”

Midseason Brings the Return and Farewell Season of “One Tree Hill” And Outrageous New Reality Series “Re-Modeled” and “The Frame”

May 19, 2011 (New York, New York) – The CW Network unveiled the schedule for its 2011-2012 season today at its annual upfront presentation for advertisers, affiliates and national media from Jazz at Lincoln Center. Electro hip-hop group LMFAO staged a rousing flash mob dance and performed their hit song “Party Rock Anthem” to open the show. The announcement was made by Dawn Ostroff, President of Entertainment, and Mark Pedowitz, the new President of The CW.

“We’re thrilled to present the most exciting primetime schedule The CW has ever had, comprised of shows that feature bold concepts, proven TV stars and up-and-coming, breakout talent,” said Ostroff. “In just five years, we’ve built an instantly recognizable brand that resonates with both viewers and advertisers and is known for being smartly provocative, culturally current, emotionally authentic and a leader in digital and social media. This upcoming season will continue to establish The CW as a premier destination for our viewers, especially women.”

“Our priority this season was adding more original programming this upcoming year, and we’ve done that with shows that will appeal to our core audience of women, while also bringing in new viewers,” said Pedowitz. “We’re being aggressive with smart, bold scheduling moves designed to improve key time periods and grow our audience.”

“‘Hart of Dixie,’ from the ‘Gossip Girl’ team of Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, is a medical franchise with a proven star in Rachel Bilson,” added Pedowitz. “Sarah Michelle Gellar has incredible appeal to our core audience and beyond, and when word got out that she was starring in ‘Ringer’ on our network, it went viral online immediately. ‘The Secret Circle’ is from Kevin Williamson, the producer of ‘The Vampire Diaries,’ and is also based on a popular series of books by author L.J. Smith, and it fits perfectly on Thursday nights. Our new reality series ‘H8R,’ and ‘Re-Modeled’ and ‘The Frame’ at midseason, are brash and loud, and continue our commitment of giving our audience more original content all season long. And we’re thrilled to have ‘One Tree Hill’ return for its farewell season this spring. The 2011-2012 season is poised to be The CW’s best season yet.”

On Monday night, one of the most talked-about shows on television, Gossip Girl, returns to the 8:00-9:00 p.m. timeslot, leading into the new drama HART OF DIXIE from 9:00-10:00 p.m. From the creators of Gossip Girl and “The O.C.,” HART OF DIXIE stars Rachel Bilson as Doctor Zoe Hart, a sophisticated New York City woman who finds herself practicing medicine in a small Southern town.

90210 graduated from West Beverly High and moves over to Tuesday nights, 8:00-9:00 p.m. Following 90210, 9:00-10:00 p.m., is one of the most buzzed-about shows of the new season, RINGER, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, who stars as a woman on the run, who assumes her twin sister’s identity, only to discover that her sister’s life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she’s trying to escape.

On Wednesday, new reality series H8R brings celebrities face-to-face with the people who love to hate them, with host Mario Lopez, 8:00-9:00 p.m. With its focus on celebrity culture, H8R gives a great lead-in to the first-ever All-Stars edition of AMERICA’S Next Top Model from 9:00-10:00 p.m.

Thursday night will feature two shows from star producer Kevin Williamson and based on a series of books by author L.J. Smith. The CW’s top-rated show THE Vampire Diaries returns in the 8:00-9:00 p.m. timeslot, leading into new drama THE SECRET CIRCLE from 9:00-10:00 p.m. Britt Robertson stars as Cassie, an orphaned teenage girl who discovers the truth about her lineage – she’s a witch who holds the key to an ancient battle between good and evil.

Friday nights are action-packed, with the sexy and exciting Nikita moving to 8:00-9:00 p.m. and the Winchester brothers of SUPERNATURAL returning in the 9:00-10:00 p.m. timeslot.

Following is The CW’s 2011-2012 primetime schedule, a night-by-night breakdown and accompanying details on all the programs.

MONDAY
8 pm           Gossip Girl
9 pm           Hart of Dixie (NEW!)

TUESDAY
8 pm           90210 
9 pm           Ringer (NEW!)

WEDNESDAY
8 pm           H8R (NEW!)
9 pm           America’s Next Top Model

THURSDAY
8 pm           The Vampire Diaries
9 pm           The Secret Circle (NEW!)

FRIDAY
8 pm           Nikita 
9 pm           Supernatural

NEW SERIES DESCRIPTIONS:

“HART OF DIXIE”

Fast-talking New Yorker and brand new doctor Zoe Hart has it all figured out – after graduating top of her class from medical school, she’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and become a cardio-thoracic surgeon.  But when her dreams fall apart, Zoe decides to accept an offer from a stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama.  Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town only to find that Harley has passed away and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will.  She quickly finds that Southern hospitality isn’t always so hospitable – the other doctor in town, Brick Breeland, is less than pleased to be sharing the practice with this young outsider, and his daughter, Lemon, is a Southern belle whose sweet disposition turns sour when she meets Zoe.  Zoe’s only allies are the mayor, former football star Lavon Hayes, her bad-boy neighbor Wade Kinsella, and handsome lawyer George Tucker – who just happens to be Lemon’s fiancé.  Zoe is out of her element and ready to pack her bags, but a surprise visit by her snobby New York mother leads to Zoe’s decision to stay in Bluebell for a while, discovering small-town life and a side of herself she hadn’t known was there.  The series stars Rachel Bilson as Dr. Zoe Hart, Jaime King as Lemon Breeland, Wilson Bethel as Wade Kinsella, Cress Williams as Lavon Hayes, McKaley Miller as Rose and Scott Porter as George Tucker.  HART OF DIXIE is from Bonanza Productions Inc., in association with Fake Empire, Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios, with executive producers Leila Gerstein (“Gossip Girl,” “Eli Stone”), Josh Schwartz (“Gossip Girl,” “Chuck,” “The O.C.”), Stephanie Savage (“Gossip Girl,” “The O.C.”), Len Goldstein and Jason Ensler (“Gossip Girl,” “Chuck”).  The pilot was directed by Jason Ensler.

“RINGER”

Sarah Michelle Gellar stars as a woman who, after witnessing a murder, goes on the run, hiding out by assuming the life of her wealthy identical twin sister – only to learn that her sister’s seemingly idyllic life is just as complicated and dangerous as the one she’s trying to leave behind.  Bridget is six months sober and starting to turn her life around when she is the sole witness to a professional hit.  Despite the assurances of her FBI protector, Agent Victor Machado, Bridget knows her life is on the line.  She flees to New York, telling no one, not even her Narcotics Anonymous sponsor, Malcolm.  In New York, Bridget reunites with her estranged twin, Siobhan.  Wealthy, pampered and married to the strikingly handsome Andrew Martin, Siobhan lives what appears to be a fairy tale life – a life where no one knows that Bridget exists.  The Sisters seem to be mending their frayed relationship, until Siobhan disappears mysteriously, and Bridget makes the split decision to take on her sister’s identity.  She discovers shocking secrets, not only about her sister and her marriage, but also about Siobhan’s best friend, Gemma, and Gemma’s husband, Henry.  And when someone tries to kill Bridget in her sister’s penthouse, she realizes she is no safer as Siobhan than she is as herself.  The series stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Bridget and Siobhan, Kristoffer Polaha as Henry, Ioan Gruffudd as Andrew Martin, Nestor Carbonell as Agent Victor Machado and Tara Summers as Gemma.  RINGER is produced by CBS Television Studios and Warner Bros. Television in association with ABC Television Studios and Brillstein Entertainment with executive producers Pam Veasey (“CSI, NY,” “The District”), Peter Traugott (“Samantha Who?”) and Emmy Award-winner Richard Shepard (“Ugly Betty”).  The pilot was directed by Richard Shepard.

“H8R”

Celebrities go head-to-head with civilians who hate them to win their “haters” over.  Hosted by Mario Lopez, H8R is from Horizon Alternative Television with executive producers Lisa Gregorisch-Dempsey (“Extra”), Jeremy Spiegel (“Extra”) and Mario Lopez.

“THE SECRET CIRCLE”

Cassie Blake was a happy, normal teenage girl – until her mother Amelia dies in what appears to be a tragic accidental fire.  Orphaned and deeply saddened, Cassie moves in with her warm and loving grandmother Jane in the beautiful small town of Chance Harbor, Washington – the town her mother left so many years before – where the residents seem to know more about Cassie than she does about herself.  As Cassie gets to know her high school classmates, including sweet-natured Diana and her handsome boyfriend Adam, brooding loner Nick, mean-girl Faye and her sidekick Melissa, strange and frightening things begin to happen.  When her new friends explain that they are all descended from powerful witches, and they’ve been waiting for Cassie to join them and complete a new generation of the Secret Circle, Cassie refuses to believe them – until Adam shows her how to unlock her incredible magical powers.  But it’s not until Cassie discovers a message from her mother in an old leather-bound book of spells hidden in her mother’s childhood bedroom, that she understands her true and dangerous destiny.  What Cassie and the others don’t yet know is that darker powers are at play, powers that might be linked to the adults in the town, including Diana’s father and Faye’s mother – and that Cassie’s mother’s death might not have been an accident.  The series stars Britt Robertson as Cassie Blake, Thomas Dekker as Adam Conant, Gale Harold as Charles Meade, Phoebe Tonkin as Fay Chamberlain, Jessica Parker Kennedy as Melissa, Shelley Hennig as Diana Meade, Louis Hunter as Nick, Ashley Crow as Jane Blake and Natasha Henstridge as Dawn Chamberlain.  Based upon the book series by L.J. Smith (author of “The Vampire Diaries” book series), THE SECRET CIRCLE is from Outerbanks Entertainment and Alloy Entertainment in association with Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios with executive producers Kevin Williamson (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Scream,” “Dawson’s Creek”), Andrew Miller (“Imaginary Bitches”), Leslie Morgenstein (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Gossip Girl”) and Gina Girolamo.  Elizabeth Craft (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Lie To Me”) & Sarah Fain (“The Vampire Diaries,” “Lie To Me”) were executive producers on the pilot which was directed by Liz Friedlander (“The Vampire Diaries,” “90210”).

FRIDAY

8:00-9:00 P.M. “Nikita”

In season one of this sexy and suspenseful series featuring international action star Maggie Q in the title role, the charming and deadly Nikita waged a war against Division, the agency that created her.  Michael — the man who trained her, a man she trusted — was hunting her.  But Nikita had an ace up her sleeve: Alex, a girl she trained to infiltrate this secret unit of the government. At the end of season one, Nikita and Alex’s relationship had been shattered, and Nikita and Michael’s relationship was restored.  Now, Nikita and Michael are on the run with a hard drive containing the government’s darkest secrets and conspiracies.  Together, they are going to right the wrongs that Division has committed over the years, one mission at a time.  But leading the hunt for them this time is Alex…and she knows all of Nikita’s tricks.  The series stars Maggie Q as Nikita, Lyndsy Fonseca as Alex, Shane West as Michael, Aaron Stanford as Birkhoff, with Melinda Clarke as Amanda and Xander Berkeley as Percy. Nikita is from Warner Bros. Television in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, with executive producers Craig Silverstein (“Bones,” “K-Ville”), David Levinson (“The Commish”), Danny Cannon (“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” “Chuck”), McG (“Supernatural,” “Chuck,” “The O.C.,” “Charlie’s Angels”) and Peter Johnson (“Supernatural,” “Chuck”).

9:00-10:00 P.M. “SUPERNATURAL”

Returning for its seventh season, this haunting series follows Sam and Dean Winchester, two brothers bound by tragedy and blood to the one thing that runs through both their veins ? hunting monsters.  This past season, Dean and Sam faced insurmountable obstacles: Sam returned from Hell without his soul, and Dean risked everything to get it back for him.  The power struggle between good and evil raged on, with the new King of Hell, Crowley, ultimately emerging as their adversary.  Shockingly, Crowley had made a secret deal with Sam and Dean’s closest friend, the angel Castiel, who is now a desperate freedom fighter on the losing side of a post-Apocalyptic civil war in Heaven; together, the uneasy allies sought to open a door to Purgatory, where a great untapped well of souls lie waiting to be used as the ultimate form of military power.  Sam and Dean reeled from the betrayal by their friend — and raced to stop the angel and demon before they opened that dangerous, otherworldly door.  Now, in season seven, the Winchesters will find themselves in an increasingly sinister, changing landscape, up against a new foe unlike anything they’ve ever fought.  They’ll find their old tricks, weapons and hiding places all rendered useless.  All they’ll have is each other.  And the certainty that, like the last of the cowboy outlaws, whatever they face, they’re not going down without a fight. The series stars Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester, Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester and Misha Collins as Castiel.  SUPERNATURAL is from Warner Bros. Television in association with Wonderland Sound and Vision, with executive producers McG (“Charlie’s Angels,” “The O.C.”), Robert Singer (“Midnight Caller”), Sera Gamble and Phil Sgriccia.

MIDSEASON

“RE-MODELED”

Modeling industry veteran Paul Fisher is planning to bring together hundreds of small agencies around the world in a new venture called The Network.  The Network will give Paul the leverage to change the industry from the inside out.  He has two missions: to make sure agents in small towns no longer get screwed, and to empower models to take control of their careers and lead healthier lives.  RE-MODELED is from Fly on the Wall Entertainment and Sony Pictures Television with executive producers Allison Grodner (“Big Brother,” “You’re Cut Off,” “She’s Got The Look,” “Plain Jane”), Rich Meehan (“Big Brother,” “You’re Cut Off,” “She’s Got The Look,” “Plain Jane”), Amy Palmer (“You’re Cut Off,” “Plain Jane”), Paul Fisher (“I Want To Be A Hilton”), Greg Seuss (“What’s Wrong with Virginia,” “Tug”) and Erik Stone (“Aisha Tyler Is Lit: Live at the Fillmore”).

“THE FRAME”

What happens when your whole life is reduced to one Frame?  There’s only one rule: if you’re out of the Frame, you’re out of the game.  Ten teams of two, chosen for their dynamic personalities and their existing deep-rooted relationships, are selected to compete in this wild social experiment.  These teams will each live in one Frame – a stripped down version of their home living space – for up to 8 weeks, with the entire world watching their inter-personal soap operas play out atop a highly formatted game.  Couples cannot physically see one another, but each “frame” is rigged with plasma screens & communication devices that allow for visual and verbal interaction.  The teams will face outrageous challenges, punishments, head-to-head competitions, and eliminations, all while isolated from the outside world.  With 24/7 web cams streaming content live, and a bi-weekly television show, audiences will vote for – and have control over – many elements of the show, from rewards to punishments to eliminations.  The last couple standing will be America’s favorite pair, and walk away with a cash prize.  THE FRAME is from Shed Media and Armoza International Media with executive producers Nick Emmerson (“Bethenny Ever After,” “Supernanny,” “Who Do You Think You Are,” “The Real Housewives of New York City”) and Jen O’Connell (“Bethenny Ever After,” “Supernanny,” “Who Do You Think You Are,” “The Real Housewives of New York City”).

Fall 2010 Post-Game Wrap-Up (Thursday)

Welcome to part four of the mid-season 2010 – 2011 review. In this post we’ll be discussing Thursday’s programming.

8:30 p.m.

CBS – $#’! My Dad Says

Well, it certainly is $#’!-ty. After watching one episode of $#’! My Dad Says we determined that not only is the worst show of the new season, the worst sitcom we’ve ever seen but perhaps even the worst show in television history. Just to show that we were fair and objective, we endured three more episodes of this awfulness… our opinion has not changed.

It’s currently a bubble show right now which makes us lose all faith in humanity that anyone is watching it but CBS did cut short the episodes it ordered for the Spring so hopefully this will go away by May.

If you haven’t read our review of $#’! My Dad Says we highly recommend it as we consider it more of a community service than a review… like an intervention for people addicted to bad TV.  Read it here.

NBC – Community

Community is still one of the better sitcoms on television (there are only a handful) and currently it’s a toss-up between whether or not NBC will renew it for a third season. In our estimation, it should be renewed if for only the reason that it’s been relatively consistent on Thursday nights and there’s nothing on the sitcom horizon for NBC in the near future. We hope so. It’s the type of show you can turn on and just laugh at because of its ridiculousness. It’s one of our two Thursday Night guilty-pleasure. The second one is, of course…

9:00 p.m.

The CW – Nikita

We love Nikita and we really shouldn’t because it’s a mediocre bordering on terrible show. But it’s over-the-top campy goodness is something that keeps us coming back for more every week. The premise is beyond ridiculous and the performances are almost silly but there’s so much “pew, pew, pew” that we can’t stay away from it.

There’s another reason why we have a soft spot for this puppy and it’s not because Maggie Q (Live Free or Die Hard) looks incredibly hot in a bikini. It’s because we heart The CW. A show like this could never survive on major prime-time network but The CW and it hearkens back to the late 90’s with UPN when they would take chances on shows like The Sentinel, Nowhere Man and our personal favorite 7 Days.

These shows, like the shows on The CW can thrive on very small audience numbers compared to the other major networks. There is no chance that camp like Nikita could ever survive anywhere but The CW and for that we are thankful for The CW. There is only ONE show that will not be renewed (that isn’t in its planned final season) on The CW next year (Life Unexpected). That’s just awesome.

NBC – The Office

Well, we’ve been concerned about this for a longtime but it’s official: The Office just isn’t as funny as it used to be and it has run out of steam. It’s still enjoyable but it’s not nearly as funny as it used to be. It’s really jumped the shark as evidenced by the fact they are resorting to revolving around another sitcom (the Glee viewing party episode). C’mon, now.

We’re still watching because it certainly has its moments, and actually, the aforementioned Glee episode was pretty funny although we cringe at the concept in principle. That being said, no one has anything to be concerned about because it’s certain to be renewed for next Fall.

9:30 p.m.

NBC – Outsourced

Outsourced is one of the most disappointing shows this season but it’s not because it’s a bad show. It’s cute and it’s clever but it’s a sitcom trying to be funny and it’s really not. We pointed out in our review that the problem is that the novelty of the culture clashes and funny accents only works for about ten minutes, yet Outsourced is an entire series that revolves around those gimmicks.

A couple of months ago we saw the 2006 film of the same name and we realized that there’s a reason why the film doesn’t translate to a sitcom: the film wasn’t a comedy to begin with. Yes, there was humor to it but he film was really a character driven story about how despite different cultures may be, we’re really not all that different after all. Sitcoms don’t work with the touchy-feely any more like they did in the 1980’s where there were a bunch corny jokes and Alex P. Keaton and Vanessa Huxtable learned a valuable lesson at the end of every episode. Audiences today want their sitcoms to have the most laughs possible during the course of 21 minutes and that’s really what it’s about it.  Whatever lessons are to be learned are secondary.  Outsourced the series, like the film, is focusing more on the valuable lessons with the comedy as an afterthought.

If we’re going to watch a sitcom, we want it to be funny. Outsourced unfortunately is not. It’s currently leaning toward “the-more-likely-to-be-renewed-than-not” category but we doubt audiences are going to continue to tolerate it until May.

Next, we take a look at Friday’s programming.

Fall 2010 TV Preview – Thursdays

Part Four of the Seven Six Part Series (This has been edited because  I realized that there’s nothing on Saturdays but College Football, COPS and America’s Most Wanted.  Do you really need a review of those?)

Thursday

8:00 p.m.

ABC:     My Generation (September 23, 2010 – NEW SERIES!)

What a difference ten years can make. In 2000, a documentary crew follows a disparate group of high schoolers from Greenbelt High School in Austin, TX as they prepare for graduation, then revisits these former classmates ten years later as they return home to rediscover that just because they’re not where they planned doesn’t mean they’re not right where they need to be.

These students couldn’t wait to graduate and head out into the real world. But the world they were entering got very real very fast. As these classmates return home to revisit their old hopes for their future, they’ll discover that, even if you don’t get exactly what you thought you wanted out of life, it’s not too late to get what you need. – ABC

Shawn: OK, ABC, that’s enough already with the pseudo-documentaries.  It’s becoming as overused as 3-D is for feature films and like 3-D it’s just a cheap gimmick to try to convince people that your crap show really isn’t a crap show.  Do you think audiences aren’t going to notice that this show is no different from any other show about 20-somethings from different walks of life who all have something in common that brings them together?  This entire premise alone is going to piss off your target demographic for that hour (namely me) because it points out how old I am at 35 compared to these knuckleheads.  Don’t need that, sorry.  Despite the fact that the show makes me feel old, let’s be honest, it just looks dopey.

8:30 p.m.

CBS:     $#’! My Dad Says – (September 23, 2010 – NEW SERIES!)

$#*! MY DAD SAYS (pronounced “Bleep My Dad Says”), based on the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern, stars Emmy Award winner William Shatner as Ed Goodson, a forthright and opinionated dad who relishes expressing his unsolicited and often wildly politically incorrect observations to anyone within earshot. Nobody is safe from Ed’s rants, including his sons, Henry, a struggling writer-turned-unpaid blogger; and Vince, the meek half of a husband/wife real estate duo with domineering Bonnie. When Henry finds he can no longer afford to pay rent, Ed reveals a soft spot and invites Henry to move in with him. Henry agrees, knowing that the verbal assault will not abate and now there will be no escape. Describing their father/son relationship is tricky, but Ed will easily come up with a few choice words. – CBS

Shawn:

This is by far the most unfortunate post I have to write.  You see, I’ve been a big fan of Justin Halpern’s Twitter Page “Shit My Dad Says” for well over a year now and of course, I’m a huge fan of all things The Shat is involved with but I’m sorry to say that this is going to suck.  Not only is it EVERYTHING that I absolutely hate about sitcoms with the recycled and clichéd jokes, characters and plots it’s 180 degrees backwards of the whole premise of “Shit  My Dad Says!”  Just watch the trailer below to see what I’m talking about but first read this from Amazon in which Halpern explains the premise of the book bearing the same title:

‘At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me.’

Now please explain to me how a wise-cracking jerk of a father, who’s apparently pretty senile and his sensitive and always correct progeny bear any resemblance to the description you just read FROM THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE THING?!

The answer is simply that they don’t resemble each other whatsoever but Halpern isn’t stupid.  He must know that this is garbage and that his new-found fame from this silly little twitter account will be over in about 15 minutes and he’s cashing in while he can and you know what?  I don’t blame him whatsoever.  If a bunch of no-talent hacks like the cast of Jersey Shore or The Hills or Keeping up With the Kardashians can get paid, why not a guy who has actually made millions of people laugh?  But please, be honest and don’t kid yourself into thinking that this is going to be anything but the highest level of suckitude©.  Believe me, I sincerely hope I’m wrong about this, but I know I’m not.

AND WHY THE HELL IS HALF THE CAST OF MADtv IN THIS???

NBC:     Community – (September 23, 2010)

Shawn: I have to admit, I’m a convert to Community.  When it debuted in 2009, I had high hopes for it because it looked clever and starred E’s Joel McHale (The Soup) and he’s always clever and funny.  It took me three episodes to be very disappointed.  Then, around Christmas-time (I think), I was in the garage working on a project and NBC was running a back-to-back marathon of the sitcom and I completely changed my mind.  Community improved dramatically and is very funny. I definitely recommend Community.

Watch full episodes of Community, here.

… And check out this great sneak preview, here.

9:00 p.m.

The CW:     Nikita (September 9, 2010 – NEW SERIES)

When she was a deeply troubled teenager, Nikita (Maggie Q, “Live Free or Die Hard,” “Mission Impossible 3”) was rescued from death row by a secret U.S. agency known only as Division, who faked her execution and told her she was being given a second chance to start a new life and serve her country. What they didn’t tell her was that she was being trained as a spy and assassin. Throughout her grueling training at Division, Nikita never lost her humanity, even falling in love with a civilian. When her fiancé was murdered, Nikita realized she had been betrayed and her dreams shattered by the only people she thought she could trust, so she did what no one else before her had been able to do: she escaped. Now, after three years in hiding, Nikita is seeking retribution and making it clear to her former bosses that she will stop at nothing to expose and destroy their covert operation. – The CW

Shawn: I’ve already done a full review of Nikita, see it here.  Good but not great.

Watch full episodes of Nikita, here.

FOX:     Fringe (September 23, 2010)

Shawn: Fringe is one of my favorite shows on TV currently.  If you haven’t watched it before it’s like The X-Files on steroids with a J.J. Abrams spin.  The stories are great, the characters are well-developed and it’s grown into a wonderful and fascinating story arc.  For those of you who are new to the series, don’t bother starting in, now.  You’re going to have to go to Netflix and add the first two seasons to your queue, or you’ll be completely lost, but it’s certainly worth saving the new episodes on the divver recordification device for when you’re done watching the old episodes.

Watch full episodes of Fringe, here.

NBC:     The Office (September 23, 2010)

Shawn: Every time that I think The Office has run out of steam, it does something that keeps me coming back for more.  Looking forward to yet another year at Dunder Mifflin.

Watch full episodes of The Office, here.

9:30 p.m.

NBC:     Outsourced (September 23, 2010)

“Outsourced” is NBC’s new workplace comedy series centered around a catalog-based company, Mid America Novelties, that sells American novelty goods including whoopee cushions, foam fingers and wallets made of bacon, and whose call center has suddenly been outsourced to India.

After recently completing Mid America Novelties’ manager training program, Todd Dempsy (Ben Rappaport, off-Broadway’s “The Gingerbread House”) learns that the call center is being outsourced to India, and he is asked to move there to be the manager. Having never ventured out of the country, he is unprepared for the culture shock. Overwhelmed, Todd discovers that his new staff needs a crash course in all things American if they are to understand the U.S. product line and ramp up sales from halfway around the world.

The sales team Todd inherits includes Gupta (Parvesh Cheena, “Help Me Help You”), a socially awkward employee; Manmeet (Sacha Dhawan, BBC’s “Five Days II”), a young romantic who is enamored with America; Asha (Rebecca Hazlewood, BBC’s “Doctors”), a smart, striking woman who finds herself intrigued by Todd; Rajiv (Rizwan Manji, “Privileged”) the assistant manager who wants Todd’s job; and Madhuri (Anisha Nagarajan, Broadway’s “Bombay Dreams”), a wallflower who suffers from extreme shyness.

Todd also discovers other transplants working in his office building, including an American expatriate, Charlie Davies (Diedrich Bader, “The Drew Carey Show”), who runs the All-American Hunter call center, and Tonya (Pippa Black, “Neighbours”), a beautiful Australian who runs the call center for Koala Air. – NBC

Shawn: I don’t know what appeals to me more, the politically incorrect tone of this series or the fact that it looks absolutely hilarious.  I also like the premise that they telemarket novelties like rubber vomit and whoopee cushions.  Looking forward to this, I hope the show can live up to the hype in the trailer.

NEXT: Friday

‘Nikita’ (The CW – Thursday, 9:00 p.m.)

When she was a deeply troubled teenager, Nikita (Maggie Q, “Live Free or Die Hard,” “Mission Impossible 3”) was rescued from death row by a secret U.S. agency known only as Division, who faked her execution and told her she was being given a second chance to start a new life and serve her country. What they didn’t tell her was that she was being trained as a spy and assassin. Throughout her grueling training at Division, Nikita never lost her humanity, even falling in love with a civilian. When her fiancé was murdered, Nikita realized she had been betrayed and her dreams shattered by the only people she thought she could trust, so she did what no one else before her had been able to do: she escaped. Now, after three years in hiding, Nikita is seeking retribution and making it clear to her former bosses that she will stop at nothing to expose and destroy their covert operation.

For the time being, however, Division continues to recruit and train other young people, erasing all evidence of their former lives and turning them into cold and efficient killers. One of these new recruits, Alex (Lyndsy Fonseca, “Kick-Ass,” “Desperate Housewives”), is a beautiful girl with a violent past and a story not so different from Nikita’s. After her parents were murdered, Alex’s life completely derailed. Haunted by her horrific past, she ended up drug-addicted and homeless until Division “rescued” her and brought her into the fold.

Division’s top authority, Percy (Xander Berkeley, “Kick-Ass,” “24”) spent years being a good government soldier, taking his role as an insider and using it to turn the secret organization into a lucrative spy-for-hire shop. With Nikita gone rogue, Percy will do whatever it takes to destroy her and protect the empire he’s built, and he often turns to his top lieutenant, Michael (Shane West, “ER,” Once and Again”), for help. Michael trained Nikita when she was a recruit and is now faced with the responsibility of tracking down his renegade student. At the same time, Michael is in charge of training Alex, Nikita’s young replacement, along with other recruits, including Thom (Ashton Holmes, “Boston Legal”), who has been at Division for a year and is anxious to prove himself, and Jaden (Tiffany Hines, “Bones”), a beautiful and tough young woman who challenges Alex at every turn.

The recruits all spend part of their training with Amanda (Melinda Clarke, “The O.C.,” “The Vampire Diaries”), a master manipulator who can turn any ugly duckling into a swan and any bleeding heart into a killer. Her use of psychological warfare and strategy is key to Percy’s entire operation. Amanda has only had one failure during her tenure at Division: Nikita, the recruit she was never able to break.

Nikita also left her mark on Birkhoff (Aaron Stanford, “Traveler,” “X-Men: The Last Stand”), the nonconformist computer genius who was caught hacking into the Pentagon’s system from his college dorm room and was recruited into Division at the same time as Nikita. Birkhoff never admits to anyone that he misses his former colleague, and he has managed to hold onto his own rebel spirit, his geek-speak and his slacker dress code.

This is the world of Division that Alex now finds herself facing everyday, and she is just beginning to understand why the legendary Nikita has dedicated herself to taking them down. – The CW

5 out of 10

This is the second attempt by American television to bring the French film La Femme Nikita (which was turned into the 1993 American film, Point of No Return starring Bridget Fonda) to the small screen and it is the most ambitious and best written and performed yet. That doesn’t mean that it’s great or that I love it.

This is a pretty short review because there’s not much to say about it.  The premise is exactly what the show description says it is and Maggie Q brings sexy to a whole new level here and the violence and action is on par with the best of any action show of the last decade.

The plot is pretty compelling, if not that original but the supporting cast is doing nothing for this show except for Nikita’s protegé Alex who is a plant in Division to bring it down. The only problem with Alex is the ridiculously convoluted way that she was able to infiltrate Division to begin with.

It’s very well shot and is pretty visually stunning and I’m actually pretty impressed with the music arrangement.

At the end of the day, it’s a decent show but I’m not sure how much patience audiences will have for it but I expect to personally give it until at least mid-season.

Watch full episodes of Nikita, here.