TNT Renews ‘Franklin & Bash’ For Third Season

Via Press Release:

TNT ADDS THIRD SEASON OF FRANKLIN & BASH TO DOCKET

September 28, 2012: TNT has ordered the hit legal series Franklin & Bash back to court for a third season. Starring Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Franklin & Bash averaged 4.3 million viewers in its new Tuesday 10 p.m. (ET/PT) timeslot, up 10% over its first season. The buddy drama also averaged 1.8 million adults 18-49 and 2.0 million adults 25-54.

“Franklin & Bash, with its winning cast and some of the sharpest dialogue on television, is a refreshingly clever, light-hearted take on the courtroom drama” said Michael Wright, president, head of programming for TNT, TBS and Turner Classic Movies (TCM). “We look forward to spending another season with Breckin, Mark-Paul and the rest of the terrific cast and crew of Franklin & Bash.”

Franklin & Bash stars Breckin Meyer as Jared Franklin and Mark-Paul Gosselaar as Peter Bash, two young, fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants street lawyers who caused a seismic culture clash when they joined a legendary, button-down law firm. Jared loves sticking it to authority every chance he gets. Peter, meanwhile, has a knack for connecting with judge and jury any way he can. Malcolm McDowell plays Renaissance man Stanton Infeld, the brilliant and eccentrically spontaneous patriarch of the law firm. Also starring are Reed Diamond, Dana Davis, Garcelle Beauvais and Kumail Nanjiani.

Franklin & Bash is produced by Four Sycamore Productions, Left Coast Productions and FanFare Productions in association with Sony Pictures Television. Jamie Tarses, Jason Ensler, Kevin Falls and Bill Chais serve as executive producers.

NBC: …And Even More Scripted Drama Changes: Brittany Snow and Aml Ameen Leaving Harry’s Law

…And now for news about a show that sucks and we hate:

In what is not a surprise, THR has confirmed that Brittany Snow and Aml Ameen (two of the four main cast members) have left the David E. Kelley extension of Boston Legal, Harry’s Law, under what is described as “amicable” circumstances.

…producers looked at the stories and roles and decided they weren’t going to be expanded and instead opted to give the duo the opportunity to pursue other projects.

Yeah… mmm… OK…

What this means in Hollywood-speak is that in typical David E. Kelley fashion, the stale writing that existed on the show to begin with has gotten even worse, the well has run completely dry and they can’t develop their bland, cookie-cutter, clichéd characters beyond one season nor can they write them into storylines.  We understand how developing characters and writing good stories can be difficult when every show you create is used for nothing more than a soapbox for a political agenda.

For the record, look at Kelley’s previous shows. They have a history of doing this.  Do you know why? Because like Jerry Bruckheimer, he’s just not that good or creative of a producer and he generally has lazy and uninspired writers.  As noted, we hate this show anyway and we were shocked that it was renewed.  The funny part is that it appears that the only reason that it was renewed was in deference to Kelley over not picking up Wonder Woman.  In other words, they threw Kelley a bone.

A note to NBC and the other networks:  STOP throwing Kelley a bone.  He’s overrated and audiences have grown tired of him (and Bruckheimer is nipping right at his heels in that department as well).  Time to open the door for new blood and ditch these dinosaurs.

CBS: Blue Bloods, Hawaii Five-O RENEWED… The Defenders, $#*! My Dad Says, Canceled… Person Of Interest PICKED UP!

H-50: See ya This Fall!

The New York Times is reporting that CBS has renewed Blue Bloods, Mike & Molly, and Hawaii Five-O.  No surprise about any of these shows and in fact last week, we predicted BB was a sure thing with the news that the show’s creators, Mitchell Burgess and Robin Green, had been ousted.  The logic:  why fire the creators a week before the upfront media events if you’re going to cancel the show?  H-50 is a lot of fun but it’s a hit-and-miss show and not nearly as good as the pilot had led us to believe.  We simply refuse to watch M&M because we know how awful it is without ever having to watch a single episode and we are saddened by the fact that audiences continue to be so stupid when it comes to the sitcoms they’ll accept in their living rooms every week.  But then again, this is the same audience that made that horrible show Two and a Half Men a hit.

As far as cancellation is concerned, some sanity has prevailed at CBS, dumping the worst sitcom ever made, the horrific $#*! My Dad Says (a show that every time we mention it, we feel we should advise our readers to read our review of it if for no other reason than it’s a quality PSA), a comedy we had ZERO interest in Mad Love (that was a comedy, right) and a very underrated show we actually liked a lot, The Defenders, starring Jerry O’Connell and Jim Belushi.

J.J. Abrams (left), Jonathan Nolan (right)

As far as new pilots are concerned, CBS has officially announced that the J.J. Abrams/Jonathan Nolan series Person of Interest (which we had reported on back in February with much enthusiasm) will be added to the Fall 2011 – 2012 schedule, as well as the comedy Two Broke Girls.

From The Hollywood Reporter:

Jim Caviezel, Michael Emerson

Stars Jim Caviezel (The Passion of the Christ) as a presumed dead former CIA agent who teams with a mysterious billionaire (Michael Emerson, Lost) to prevent violent crimes in New York. Taraji P. Henson (Boston Legal) co-stars in the Warner Bros. TV drama from scribe Jonathan Nolan (The Dark Knight), who produces alongside J.J. Abrams, Bryan Burk (Fringe), Ben Brafman (The 4400), Margot Lulick (Kings) and Greg Plageman (Cold Case). Dave Semel (No Ordinary Family), who directs.

Two Broke Girls 

Revolves around two 22-year-old women (Kat Dennings, Beth Behrs) who tackle life in New York as they try to make their dreams come true. The multicamera comedy from Warner Bros. Television is written by Michael Patrick King (Sex and the City) with stand-up comic Whitney Cummings on board as a producer. James Burrows directed the pilot.

NBC Announces Fall 2011 – 2012 Schedule

Today, NBC announced their new Fall Schedule, a day ahead of the Monday upfront advertising event.  In case you’re wondering why you’re not seeing some of your favorite shows, it’s because they’ve been canceled as we noted in this post, here.  After the dust settles, we’ll be sure to comment on all of these new and returning shows.

Folks, don’t forget that the major network up-front advertising events begin TOMORROW, Monday, May 16th and go on through Thursday.  This is the week that we will find out the fates of all this season’s shows that haven’t already been decided and we’ll also find out what new shows will be on the schedules for the 2011 – 2012 season. You can find out the schedules for all of the events, here.

Vis Press Release:

WITH A COMMITMENT TO INNOVATION, STRATEGIC POSITIONING AND SEASON-LONG STRENGTH, NBC REVEALS ITS 2011-12 PRIMETIME SCHEDULE

Fall and Mid-Season Lineups Feature New Dramas “Smash,” “Prime Suspect,” “The Playboy Club,” “Awake,” “Grimm” and “The Firm”

New Comedies Are “Up All Night,” “Whitney,” “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” “Free Agents,” “Best Friends Forever” and “Bent.”

NEW YORK CITY — May 15, 2011 — NBC has introduced its 2011-12 primetime schedule, showcasing six new dramas and six new comedies from a roster of renowned hit-makers that includes Steven Spielberg, Lorne Michaels, Brian Grazer, Tom Werner, John Grisham and Peter Berg, among many others.

The season’s new dramas are “Smash,” “Prime Suspect,” “The Playboy Club,” “Awake,” “Grimm” and “The Firm”; and the new comedies are “Up All Night,” “Whitney,” “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” “Free Agents,” “Best Friends Forever” and “Bent.”

Returning shows include “Parenthood,” “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” “Harry’s Law,” “Chuck” (for its fifth and final season of 13 episodes), “Community,” “Parks and Recreation,” “The Office,” “30 Rock” and “DatelineNBC.” Among next season’s returning alternative series are “The Voice,” “The Sing-Off,” “The Celebrity Apprentice” and “The Biggest Loser,” each in two-hour formats.

The new lineup combines schedule stability with strategic changes that position the network for future growth. Key facets of the schedule include a new hour of comedy with the Wednesday debuts of “Up All Night” (8-8:30 p.m. ET) and “Free Agents” (8:30-9 p.m. ET) and an update to NBC’s critically acclaimed Thursday lineup with the premieres this fall of the new comedy “Whitney” (9:30-10 p.m. ET) and the first-year drama “Prime Suspect” (10-11 p.m. ET). In addition, NBC has made a strong commitment to original scripted programming on Friday nights with the pairing of “Chuck” (8-9 p.m. ET) in its climactic season with the new drama “Grimm” (9-10 p.m. ET).

The #1 new series of the current season, “The Voice,” returns at mid-season on Monday nights (8-10 p.m. ET) and will serve as the lead-in to the new musical drama “Smash” (10-11 p.m. ET). In the fall on Mondays from 8-10 p.m. ET will be another growing NBC reality success, “The Sing-Off,” now in a weekly format following its strong December showings of the past two years.

Additional details unveiled in today’s announcement include a run of uninterrupted originals for “30 Rock” starting at mid-season and a post-football Sunday lineup of “Dateline NBC” (7-8 p.m. ET), “The Celebrity Apprentice” (8-10 p.m. ET) and the new drama “The Firm” (10-11 p.m. ET). Additional new series ready for mid-season include the drama “Awake” and the comedies “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” “Best Friends Forever” and “Bent.”

The announcements were made by Bob Greenblatt, Chairman, NBC Entertainment.

“Next season begins the rebuilding of the NBC primetime schedule, and our goal is to reinvigorate our audience with a line-up of appointment television that includes our best returning shows and a variety of innovative and attention-getting new series. We’ll be placing a great deal of emphasis on how we launch each one of our programs and on maximizing the network’s strengths throughout the fall and well into mid-season,” said Greenblatt. “Considering it’s only been three months since new management took over, I’m very pleased with what has resulted from a very strong pilot season. And with a powerful new asset like ‘The Voice’ already in hand, we go into the 2011-12 season with cautious but incredible optimism.”

NBC FALL 2011-12 SCHEDULE
*New programs in UPPER CASE; all times ET)

MONDAY

8-10 p.m. – “The Sing-Off”
10-11 p.m. – “THE PLAYBOY CLUB”

TUESDAY
8-10 p.m. – “The Biggest Loser”
10-11 p.m. – “Parenthood”

WEDNESDAY
8-8:30 p.m. – “UP ALL NIGHT”
8:30-9 p.m. – “FREE AGENTS”
9-10 p.m. — “Harry’s Law”
10-11 p.m. — “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”

THURSDAY
8-8:30 p.m. – “Community”
8:30-9 p.m. — “Parks and Recreation”
9-9:30 p.m. – “The Office”
9:30-10 p.m. – “WHITNEY”
10-11 p.m. – “PRIME SUSPECT”

FRIDAY
8-9 p.m. – “Chuck”
9-10 p.m. – “GRIMM”
10-11 p.m. – “Dateline NBC”

SATURDAY

Encore programming

SUNDAY
7- 8:15 p.m. — “Football Night in America”
8:15-11:30 p.m. — “NBC Sunday Night Football”

NBC 2012 MID-SEASON HIGHLIGHTS

*New programs in UPPER CASE; all times ET)

SUNDAY

7-8 p.m. – “Dateline NBC”
8-10 p.m. – “The Celebrity Apprentice”
10-11 p.m. – “THE FIRM”

MONDAY
8-10 p.m. – “The Voice”
10-11 p.m. – “SMASH”

2011-12 NEW SERIES DESCRIPTIONS

New Dramas

‘PRIME SUSPECT’ — Based on the critically acclaimed British television series of the same name, “Prime Suspect” has been redeveloped for American audiences by writer Alexandra Cunningham (“Desperate Housewives,” “NYPD Blue”), director Peter Berg (NBC’s “Friday Night Lights”) — and stars Maria Bello (“A History of Violence”) as tough-as-nails Detective Jane Timoney. Timoney finds that being a homicide detective in New York City is tough enough and having to contend with a male-dominated police department to get respect makes it that much tougher. She’s an outsider who has just transferred to a new precinct dominated by an impenetrable clique of a boys’ club. Timoney has her own vices too — with a questionable past — and she tends to be forceful, rude and reckless. But she’s also a brilliant cop who keeps her eye on one thing: the prime suspect. Also starring are Aidan Quinn (“Unknown”), Brian O’Byrne (“Flash Forward”), Tim Griffin (“Star Trek”), Kirk Acevedo (“Fringe”), Joe Nieves (“How I Met Your Mother”), Damon Gupton (“The Last Airbender”) and Peter Gerety (“Blue Bloods”). “Prime Suspect” is produced by Universal Media Studios, ITV and Film 44. Cunningham is the executive producer/writer along with executive producer/director Berg and executive producers Sarah Aubrey, Julie Meldal-Johnson, Paul Buccieri and Lynda LaPlante.

‘THE PLAYBOY CLUB’ — From Academy Award-winning executive producer Brian Grazer, “The Playboy Club” is a provocative new drama about a time and place that challenged the social mores, where a visionary entrepreneur created an empire and an icon changed American culture. It’s the early ‘60s, and the legendary Playboy Club in Chicago is the door to all of your fantasies — and the key is the most sought-after status symbol of its kind. Inside the seductive world of the bunny, the epitome of beauty and service, the clientele rubs shoulders with the decade’s biggest mobsters, politicos and entertainers. Nick Dalton (Eddie Cibrian, “CSI: Miami”) is one of the city’s top attorneys and the ultimate playboy, rubbing elbows with everyone in the city’s power structure. With mysterious ties to the mob, Nick comes to the aid of Maureen (Amber Heard, “Zombieland”), the stunning and innocent new bunny who accidentally kills the leader of the Bianchi crime family. Dating Nick is Carol-Lynne (Laura Benanti, “Take the Lead”), a bombshell and established star at the club who knows her days as a bunny are numbered and finds herself continually at odds with Billy (David Krumholtz, ”Numb3rs”), the club’s general manager. Adding to the charm of the Playboy club is Janie (Jenna Dewan Tatum, “American Virgin”), the carefree life of the party who is dating Max (Wes Ramsey, “CSI: Miami”), an overly protective bartender. Also starring are Naturi Naughton (“Fame”) and Leah Renee (“True Confessions of a Hollywood Starlet”). In addition to Grazer (“A Beautiful Mind,” “American Gangster”), the executive producers on “The Playboy Club” include Chad Hodge (“Tru Calling”), Francie Calfo (“Scoundrels”), Jason Burns (“The House Bunny”) and Dick Rosenzweig (“Kendra”). Hodge also wrote the pilot, which was directed by Alan Taylor (“Mad Men,” “The Sopranos”). The series is produced by 20^th Century Fox Television and Imagine Television.

‘SMASH’ — “Smash” is a musical drama that celebrates the beauty and heartbreak of the Broadway theater as it follows a cross-section of dreamers and schemers who all have one common desire — to be a “Smash.” The series centers on a desire to create a Broadway musical based on the life of Marilyn Monroe — written by the successful songwriting duo of Tom (Tony Award nominee Christian Borle, “Legally Blonde: The Musical”) and Julia (Emmy Award winner Debra Messing, “Will & Grace”). Julia recently began the process of adopting a child with her husband of many years, but her focus is torn when she has the opportunity to write another Broadway hit. A rivalry soon forms for the lead role between a youthful, inexperienced Midwestern beauty (Katharine McPhee, “American Idol”) — who is trying to find fame in the big city against all odds — and stage veteran (Megan Hilty, “9 to 5: The Musical”), who’s determined to leave the chorus line and finally get her big break. A tenacious producer Eileen (Oscar winner, Anjelica Huston, “Prizzi’s Honor”) discovers the “Marilyn” project and jumps on board with a brilliant director (Jack Davenport, “Pirates of the Caribbean” films) — whose talent is matched by his cunning and egocentric amorality. The series stemmed from an idea of executive producer and multiple Emmy and Oscar winner Steven Spielberg (“ER,” “Schindler’s List”). The pilot was written by acclaimed playwright/screenwriter Theresa Rebeck (“Mauritius,” “NYPD Blue”). Craig Zadan and Neil Meron (Oscar-winning “Chicago,” “Hairspray”) and Darryl Frank and Justin Falvey (“United States Of Tara,” “The Borgias”) will also serve as executive producers. Original songs are written by Tony and Grammy Award winners Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (“Hairspray,” “Catch Me If You Can”), who also serve as executive producers. “Smash” is a production of Universal Media Studios in association with DreamWorks. The pilot was directed by Tony Award winner Michael Mayer (“Spring Awakening,” “American Idiot”).

‘GRIMM’ — “Grimm” is a new drama series inspired by the classic Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Remember the fairy tales your parents used to tell you before bedtime? Those weren’t stories — they were warnings. Nick Burkhardt (David Guintoli “Turn The Beat Around”) thought he prepared himself for the realities of working as a homicide detective until he started seeing things he couldn’t quite explain. When his ailing Aunt Marie (guest star Kate Burton, “Grey’s Anatomy”) arrives, Nick’s life turns upside down when she reveals they are descendants of an elite group of hunters, also known as “Grimms,” who fight to keep the balance of humanity safe from the supernatural creatures of the world. As Nick digs deeper into her past, he realizes that he will have to shoulder the responsibility of his ancestors — and contend with a larger-than-life mythology of the Brothers Grimm that is now all too real. Russell Hornsby (“Lincoln Heights”), Bitsie Tulloch (“Quarterlife”), Silas Weir Mitchell (“Prison Break”), Reggie Lee (“Persons Unknown”) and Sasha Roiz (“Caprica”) also star. “Grimm” is a production of Universal Media Studios and Hazy Mills Productions. Sean Hayes and Todd Milliner (“Hot In Cleveland”) serve as executive producers, Jim Kouf (“National Treasure,” “Angel”) and David Greenwalt (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” “Angel”) are the creators/executive producers and Marc Buckland (“My Name Is Earl”) is the director.

‘AWAKE’ — “Awake” is an intriguing drama about a detective (Jason Issacs, “Harry Potter,” “Brotherhood”) who finds he is leading an arduous double life that defies reality. When Detective Michael Britten (Issacs) regains consciousness following his family’s car accident, he is told that his wife Hannah (Laura Allen, “Terriers”) perished but that his teen son, Rex (Dylan Minnette, “Saving Grace”), has survived. As he tries to put the pieces of his life back together, he awakens again in a parallel reality in which his wife is very much alive — but his son Rex died in the accident. In order to keep both of his loved ones alive at one time, he begins living two dueling realities in parallel worlds, which churns up confusion — in one moment, Michael and his wife debate about having another child to replace their son, while in the other reality, he is attracted to his son’s tennis coach, Tara (Michaela McManus, “The Vampire Diaries”), to fill the void from the loss of his wife. Trying to regain some normalcy, Michael returns to police work and solves crimes in both worlds with the help of two different partners — Detective Isaiah “Bird” Freeman (Steve Harris, “The Practice”) and Detective Efrem Vega (Wilmer Valderrama, “That ’70s Show”). Also starring are Emmy Award winner Cherry Jones (“24”) and BD Wong (NBC’s “Law & Order:Special Victims Unit”) as therapists in each respective world. The series is produced by 20^th Century Fox Television. Kyle Killen (“Lone Star”) and Howard Gordon (“24”) are executive producers. David Slade (“Twilight: Eclipse,” “30 Days of Night”) also serves as executive producer and directed the pilot written by Killen.

‘THE FIRM’ — Based on the blockbuster feature film and best-selling novel by world-renowned author John Grisham (“The Pelican Brief,” “The Client”), “The Firm” continues the story of attorney Mitchell McDeere and his family 10 years after the events of the film and novel. As a young associate, McDeere brought down the prestigious Memphis law firm of Bendini, Lambert & Locke, which operated as a front for the Chicago mob — and his life was never the same. After a difficult decade, which included a stay in the Federal Witness Protection program, Mitch and his family now emerge from isolation to reclaim their lives and their future — only to find that past dangers are still lurking and new threats are everywhere. “The Firm” is produced by Entertainment One in association with Sony Pictures Television and Paramount Pictures. The executive producers are Grisham, Lukas Reiter (“Law & Order,” “Boston Legal”), John Morayniss (“Haven,” “Hung”), Michael Rosenberg (“Hung,” “Skins”) and Noreen Halpern (“Rookie Blue,” “Hung”).

New Comedies

‘WHITNEY’ — A hilarious look at modern love, “Whitney” is a new multi-camera comedy series about Whitney (Whitney Cummings, “Chelsea Lately”) and Alex (Chris D’Elia, “Glory Daze”), a happily unmarried couple. Together for five years, the duo is in no rush to get hitched. However, after attending yet another one of their friends’ weddings, Whitney realizes that she and Alex are dangerously close to relationship boredom. Determined not to let that happen, Whitney consults her close circle of opinionated girlfriends — including Lily (Zoe Lister-Jones, “The Other Guys”) and Roxanne (Rhea Seehorn, “The Starter Wife”) — and then snaps into action. A few awkward sexy costumes and one botched seductive evening later, the couple ends up in the emergency room. Even so, Whitney and Alex realize that while their relationship might not be perfect on paper, they really do love each other — and that works for them. Also starring are Maulik Pancholy (NBC’s “30 Rock”) as Lily’s perfect boyfriend, and Dan O’Brien (“How I Met Your Mother”) as an eternal bachelor. “Whitney” is produced by Universal Media Studios and Scott Stuber Productions. Stuber (“The Break Up”), Quan Phung, Betsy Thomas (“My Boys”) and Barry Katz (“Last Comic Standing”) are executive producers. Cummings also serves as executive producer/writer. Andy Ackerman (“Seinfeld,” “The New Adventures of Old Christine”) is an executive producer and directed the pilot.

‘UP ALL NIGHT’ — From Emily Spivey (NBC’s “Parks and Recreation,” NBC’s “Saturday Night Live”) and legendary Emmy Award-winning producer Lorne Michaels, comes “Up All Night,” a modern take on Parenthood that shows the challenges of balancing a career, marriage and a new baby. Christina Applegate (“Samantha Who?”) stars as Reagan, a successful public relations executive, and Will Arnett (“Arrested Development”) plays Chris, Reagan’s supportive, stay-at-home husband. The two have just become parents – a surprise that has set their lives on a new path as responsible adults — for the most part. Maya Rudolph (“Saturday Night Live,” “Bridesmaids”) stars as Ava, Reagan’s outlandish boss and best friend, whose whirlwind social escapades serve as constant reminders of Reagan’s former carefree life. James Pumphrey (“High Road”) portrays Brian, Reagan’s socially awkward hipster assistant. “Up All Night” is a production of Universal Media Studios and Broadway Video. Spivey is the creator and serves as executive producer along with Michaels and Jon Pollack (NBC’s “30 Rock”).

‘FREE AGENTS’ – “Free Agents” is a crooked workplace/romantic new comedy from creator John Enbom (“Party Down”) and Emmy Award-winning director Todd Holland (“Malcolm in the Middle”) based on the cult U.K. series of the same name that explores the trials and tribulations of two public relations executives on the rebound. Alex (Hank Azaria, “The Simpsons,” “Huff”) is newly divorced and can barely keep himself together while his co-worker Helen (Kathryn Hahn, “Hung”) thinks she has it together but is obsessed with her deceased fiancé and actually is falling apart. Then a drunken Alex and Helen end up in bed together, and in the resulting sober confusion, Helen decides that they should only be friends. Meanwhile Alex’s co-workers, Dan (Mo Mandel, “Love Bites,” “Modern Family”) and Gregg (Al Madrigal, “Wizards of Waverly Place,” “Gary, Unmarried”), and Stephen (Anthony Head, “Merlin,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) fail in their attempts to help him get back out on the dating scene. When Alex finally agrees to a date, Helen gets a little jealous, and he gets cold feet, so they end up back where they started — in a casual, intimate and beautifully awkward relationship. Also starring is Joe Lo Truglio (“Backwash,” “Mad Love”) and Natasha Leggero (“Ugly Americans,” “’Til Death”). “Free Agents” is a production of Universal Media Studios in association with Dark Toy and Big Talk Productions. Enbom is executive producer/creator along with executive producer/director Holland. Karey Burke (“Miss/Guided”) executive-produces, along with Big Talk Productions’ Kenton Allen (“Free Agents,” BBC Network) and Nira Park, as well as Chris Niel.

‘ARE YOU THERE VODKA? IT’S ME, CHELSEA’ — Inspired by the best-selling book from comedienne/talk show host Chelsea Handler (“Chelsea Lately”), the new comedy “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea,” follows the exploits of twentysomething bartender Chelsea (Laura Prepon, “That ’70s Show”) a strong-willed force of nature who is determined to live life to the fullest and make no apologies. Her friends are along for the ride but they all know it is Chelsea’s way or the highway. Mark (Jo Koy, “Chelsea Lately”) is a charming bartender whose wit makes him the perfect foil for Chelsea while Shoniqua (Angel Laketa Moore, “ER”) is a smart and sassy fellow waitress who looks out for Chelsea’s best interests. Close friend and fellow bartender Todd (Mark Povinelli, “Water for Elephants”) has a wry sense of humor that keeps her in check. Also starring are Natalie Morales (NBC’s “Parks and Recreation”) as Ivory, Chelsea’s feisty best friend; Lauren Lapkus (“The Middle”) as Dee Dee, Chelsea’s sheltered, shy roommate, and Lenny Clarke (“Rescue Me”) as Chelsea’s dad, Melvin. Handler has a recurring role as Chelsea’s sister Sloan, a happily married new mom who has little in common with her carefree sister. “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” is a production of Warner Bros. Television in association with Werner Entertainment and Borderline Amazing Productions. Dottie Dartland Zicklin (“Dharma & Greg”) and Julie Larson (“The Drew Carey Show”) are creators and executive producers. Handler serves as executive producer along with Tom Werner (“That ’70s Show”), Mike Clements (“The Life & Times of Tim”) and Tom Brunelle (“Chelsea Lately”).

‘BEST FRIENDS FOREVER’ — “Best Friends Forever” is a single-camera comedy that takes a look at what happens when best friends promise to support each other — no matter what the cost or circumstances. When Jessica’s (Jessica St. Clair, “In the Motherhood”) husband files for divorce, she immediately seeks comfort and flies across the country to move back in with her best friend, Lennon (Lennon Parham, “Accidentally on Purpose”). Unfortunately, Lennon’s boyfriend, Joe (Adam Pally, “Happy Endings”), has just moved into the apartment and has turned Jessica’s old room into his perfect home office. As Lennon and Jessica fall into their old routines — beloved traditions, Steel Magnolia marathons and epic girl-talk sessions — Joe begins to feel as if he’s the odd man out. While Lennon struggles to find balance between her previous life with Jessica and her new life with Joe, Jessica’s reentry to single life is complicated by the unresolved feelings that an old friend, Rav (Stephen Schneider, “The Funniest Movie Ever…Just Kidding”), has for her and the fact that pleated khakis aren’t the most flattering single girl look. “Best Friends Forever” is produced by Universal Media Studios and American Work. St. Clair, Parham, Scot Armstrong (“Old School,” “The Hangover Part II”) and Ravi Nandan (“Off Duty”) are the executive producers. Fred Savage (“Party Down”) directed the pilot.

‘BENT‘ — “Bent” is a new romantic comedy about two people who suddenly find themselves attracted to the qualities that typically repel them. On the surface, Alex (Amanda Peet, “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”) and Pete (David Walton, “Perfect Couples”) could not be more different. The recently divorced Alex is a resilient and tough lawyer who now is raising her eight-year-old daughter, Charlie (Joey King, “Ramona and Beezus”), as a single mom. Unwilling to let anything get in her way, she downsizes into a smaller house, and she hires Pete, a recovering gambling addict and unapologetic womanizer, as the contractor to re-do her kitchen. The remodeling job is Pete’s last chance to prove that he is no longer a screw-up — but he doesn’t know what’s about to hit him when he encounters the force of nature that is Alex — nor does she realize that she’s met her match in Pete, a man unafraid to call out her flaws. Jeffrey Tambor (“Arrested Development”) also stars as Pete’s father, Walt, an out-of-work actor, while Margo Harshman (“Sorority Row”) stars as Alex’s wild younger sister Screwsie. This romantic comedy from writer and executive producer Tad Quill (“Scrubs,” “Spin City”) and director Craig Zisk (“Nurse Jackie,” “Weeds”) will prove that these resilient characters are “bent, not broken.” The series is produced by Universal Media Studios.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Will Ferrell Temps On The Office For Four Episodes Starting Tonight, Five (Well, Four) Other Big Guest Stars To Follow

As you’ve probably already heard by now, Steve Carell is leaving Dunder Mifflin this season (in three episodes to be exact) to focus on his film career.  While we’ll certainly miss the world’s best boss, we’ve felt for some time now that as much as we’ll always have a special place in our heart for The Office, it’s not the same show it was just a few seasons ago when it was appointment television and it really could use a breath of fresh air.  That’s why it delights us to no end that Will Ferrell will be temping at the Scranton branch from the home office beginning tonight for four episodes.

D’Angelo Vickers (Ferrell) Will be Dry-Humped by Michael Scott (Carell) at Least Once Over the Next Three Weeks, but He Will Not Be Permanently Replacing Him.

Now, folks, please don’t be confused and don’t believe the rumors.  Ferrell is not replacing Carell on The Office (he was just kidding when he claimed that he was two weeks ago, EW), he is merely guest starring for four episodes and will be the interim branch manager when Carell departs for good on the third episode of the stint.  So basically, you get one episode of a solo Will Ferrell (whose character’s name is D’Angelo Vickers… and no, we’re not making that up, but that is so Will Ferrell) and three episodes with him and Carell (not a bad deal at all).  This is nothing more than a concerted effort to bring some excitement to the show and eyeballs on it in the home stretch, but yes, we do recognize the magnitude of awesomeness that we would have if Ferrell was going to be a permanent cast member.

Catherine Tate: Somebody We’ve Never Heard Of.

And Ferrell’s not the only big name who will be making the rounds at D.M. Over the rest of the season expect to see an appearance by perpetual atheist Ricky Gervais, who, of course co-created the British predecessor of The Office and stars as the Michael Scott character (David Brent) on the U.K. version.  Also appearing will be the perpetually unemployed Will Arnett (Running Wilde, Arrested Development), the perpetually whining and nasally funny-man Ray Romano (Men of a Certain Age, Everybody Loves Raymond, which is still my grandmother’s favorite show), the perpetually chicken-necked James Spader (Boston Legal… crap… what else has he done in the last two decades?  Oh, that’s right: Stargate.  Yeah, that’ll work), and the perpetually unrecognized, Catherine Tate (Dr. Who).  OK, we have to be honest on this one: other than her role as Donna for one season plus one episode on the incredibly awesome BBC hit, Doctor Who, we have no idea why she’s considered a guest “star.”  Sheesh… for Pete’s sake her iMDB listing doesn’t even have a photo of her, we had to look this one up! Quite frankly, though, and let this serve as a public service announcement for anyone outside the U.S. who wants to be famous here, if you’re only mildly famous in the U.K. then we really won’t be considering you a star on this side of the pond, as it were, until you make a sex tape and it gets “stolen” and “released without your permission.”  This is America, and that’s how we roll with our celebrities.  Sorry about that, and yes, as a society, we are that stupid.  But as an aside (and perhaps referring back to the previous comment about the tape?), we must say, this British gal certainly has a balcony you can perform Shakespeare off of, so that’s got to be worth tuning in for, right? Yes, we know we’re reaching… and we know that we’re being piggish.

From the Left: Ray Romano, James Spader, Will Arnett and Ricky Gervais. Let the Hilarity Ensue, Just Don’t Get Slapped in the Face by Spader’s Chicken Neck!

Anywho, despite our parodying of the guest stars, we really think that Carell leaving and these guests coming in at the end of this season is probably the best thing that could have happened for the show, because frankly we could have cared less if it had been canceled or not at the end of the season.  The show needed a shakeup and not having Michael Scott as the central character will change the entire atmosphere of it entirely.  Fortunately, these stars will be there to soften the blow and ease us through the transition of what was The Office to what will be The Office.  Now, we’re actually excited about the rest of this season and what’s to come for next season.  It’s a whole new office.

Harry’s Law (NBC – Monday, 10:00 p.m.)

Emmy Award-winning writer/producer David E. Kelley (“Boston Legal,” “The Practice,” “Ally McBeal”) weaves his rich storytelling into a new legal dramedy starring Academy Award winner Kathy Bates in the title role – about how people can embrace the unexpected and other curveballs that life can throw at them.

Harriet “Harry” Korn (Kathy Bates, “Misery,” “About Schmidt”) doesn’t believe things happen for a reason, but she discovers that they sometimes do. A curmudgeonly ex-patent lawyer, Harry is abruptly fired from her blue chip law firm, forcing her to search for a fresh start. She finds it when her world unexpectedly collides, literally, with Malcolm Davies (Aml Ameen, “Kidulthood”), a kind-hearted college student who desperately needs Harry’s help with his pending court case, and he subsequently goes to work for her.

Harry soon finds her balance as well as new offices in an abandoned shoe store just as legal hotshot Adam Branch (Nate Corddry, “The United States of Tara,” “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”) accidentally hits her while driving. Inspired by Harry’s no-nonsense understanding of the law, Adam decides to take leave of his shiny corporate firm to go and work with her. Harry, Adam and Malcolm – unlikely but kindred spirits – along with the help of Harry’s shoe-savant assistant, Jenna (Brittany Snow, “Hairspray,” “American Dreams”), are now ready for whatever walks in through the doors of their unique establishment – Harriet’s Law and Fine Shoes. – NBC

4 out of 10

Now, you would figure with the cleverly proposed premise and Kathy Bates and David E. Kelley on the marquis, Harry’s Law should be one of the most refreshing new shows of the spring.  I mean, how could they screw this up, right?  The answer is simple and really should have been expected: David E. Kelley.

We really, really wanted to like Harry’s Law and it almost sucked us in… until it morphed into Boston Legal 30 minutes into it.   Please don’t mistake this, it’s not kind-of like Boston Legal because it’s a David E. Kelley show, it’s the exact same frakking show except that this time Kelley figured that it was probably not a good idea to use a TV show as a pulpit for left-wing proselytizing and right-wing bashing when the evangelists are a bunch of uber-wealthy, Boston elitists.

Instead, we now have Harriet Korn (Bates) a well-respected Cincinnati patent attorney who decides that she’s bored of patent-law and goes on a mission of self-discovery that eventually puts her into a crime infested neighborhood that seems awfully clean and in fact it seems a lot like a Universal back lot.  Here she will now practice criminal law (which she has absolutely no experience in) and fight for the poor, downtrodden, misunderstood and those generally abused by the system.

Like Boston Legal before it, you have to suspend your disbelief with the speed of the legal process and the absurdity of the courtroom antics and you also have to suspend your disbelief that a 20 year-plus veteran patent attorney can now be taken seriously as a criminal defense attorney.

No, what kills this show and why it went from a “7” in our book to a “4” from the first half hour to the second is that it suffers from the exact same problems that Boston Legal did when it ended.  Kelley seems obsessed with preaching to the audience his brand of politics, not understanding that by doing so, he’s alienating at least half of his audience.  Conservatives sure as hell don’t want to hear it and Independents don’t want to hear it either and it’s why Boston Legal only got five seasons whereas its predecessor, The Practice got eight seasons.  We left it halfway through season four and there’s only been one other show that we’ve ever committed to that we left before its series run was over (Heroes).

The Practice, although it definitely had its share of issue-oriented shows, was never preachy.  It didn’t need to be.  The drama was compelling and thought-provoking in and of itself on a weekly basis without the need for anyone to tell the audience how to think politically. What we can’t figure out is what happened with Kelley.  Is it just an issue of hating the Bush Administration so much that he decided that all of his projects would now be propaganda outlets?  We could care less either way what anyone’s personal politics are but when it comes to scripted drama on television, no one wants to be lectured to.  Kelley should know this by now and NBC should have figured it out after the Jimmy Smits legal disaster-of-a-show Outlaw.

The only reason we’re not giving this show lower than a “4” is because there is hope for it and the only thing it needs to be enjoyable is to get rid of the political crap.  The performances are solid and the characters are generally likable.  Will they drop the political crap?  It’s doubtful that they will because Kelley has become an absolute egomaniac with his projects and even if they did dump the politics, it will be too late because we expect audiences to abandon it long before that. We believe Kelley is about to learn a valuable lesson about what you can experiment with and what you can’t when a show hasn’t built an established audience and we expect Harry’s Law to not be renewed for a second season in May for Fall 2011.

Watch full episodes of Harry’s Law, here.

‘Blue Bloods’ (CBS – Friday, 10:00 p.m.)

­BLUE BLOODS is a drama about a multi-generational family of cops dedicated to New York City law enforcement. Frank Reagan is the New York City Police Commissioner and heads both the police force and the Reagan brood. He runs his department as diplomatically as he runs his family, even when dealing with the politics that plagued his unapologetically bold father, Henry, during his stint as Chief. A source of pride and concern for Frank is his eldest son Danny, a seasoned detective, family man, and Iraqi War vet who on occasion uses dubious tactics to solve cases. The sole Reagan woman in the family, Erin, is a N.Y. Assistant D.A. and newly single parent, who also serves as the legal compass for her siblings and father. Jamie is the youngest Reagan, fresh out of Harvard Law and the family’s “golden boy;” however, unable to deny the family tradition, Jamie decided to give up a lucrative future in law and is now a newly minted cop. Jamie’s life takes an abrupt turn when he’s asked to become part of a clandestine police investigation even his father knows nothing about, and one that could impact the family’s legacy.­ – CBS

The Preview (Originally posted on 9/25/2010):

Shawn: Blue Bloods is one of the most anticipated dramas this Fall for good reason.  Simply look at this cast.  Your leads are Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, and Bridget Moynihan… all television and film superstars (Len Cariou is no slouch either).  Superstars like that don’t just arbitrarily sign on to do a show if they don’t already know it’s brilliant.  The concept is definitely unique.  An original cop show that focuses on a multigenerational family of cops and all of the dynamics that go along with that.  I’m very excited about Blue Bloods.

The Review:

9 out of 10

Yes, I know Blue Bloods has been on for over a month but good things come to those who wait.  As noted by the preview, I knew Blue Bloods was going to be good, but I didn’t expect it to be as good as it is and I really wanted to do the show justice by watching several episodes and taking notes before I reviewed it.

Unlike other cop/legal procedurals, Blue Bloods isn’t beating you over the head with preachy, one-sided political propaganda (see: Outlaw, The Whole Truth, Boston Legal, Law & Order – the entire franchise) telling you what your opinion should be on various issues.  Rather, every week, there’s a new and original plotline that invariably leads to a politically volatile issue and instead of the producers having the protagonists all carry the torch for one side of the issue without any inclination that a contrary opinion even has any merit, they intentionally present both sides as having merit and leave it to the audience to decide.

What makes this even more effective is the plot-device they use to address these issues:  the family dining room table.  It’s a fantastic and effective metaphor because it’s representative of not only how families often talk about the issues of the day so it’s relatable on that level but it’s also representative of American culture as a whole.  Americans have vast and varying opinions on all ranges of political issues and like family members discussing them, the debates can also get quite heated as passions get involved.

The question that comes into play quite often is balancing act of following the law and doing what is the morally correct thing to do, because as we all know, the two don’t always coincide. 

****(MINOR SPOILER ALERT!)****

Example:  in the pilot Danny (Donnie Wahlberg – Boomtown, Band of Brothers) is faced with a dilemma.  A ten year-old girl has been abducted and time is running out.  He and his partner have found the kidnapper/deviant yet he will not tell them where the girl is.  Danny proceeds to beat the confession out of the suspect specifically by repeatedly putting his head in a toilet bowl.  Call it a poor-man’s waterboarding.

Now, no one would ever suggest that they we would want our police coercing confessions out of suspects using violence or torture, but on the other side of the coin, if you were the parent of that ten year-old wouldn’t you want Danny Reagan doing whatever he could no matter how much outside the constraints of the law it was to find your little girl even if it meant that he violated a pervert’s civil rights along the way?  I know that I sure as Hell would.  But, that of course leads to the inevitable question of, “Where do you draw the line?”

The truth is that with all issues, there is no “black and white,” just varying shades of gray and Blue Bloods recognizes this whereas most dramas treat the audience with an air of condescending superiority suggesting that they are too stupid to figure out right from wrong on their own without Hollywood explaining it to them.  Blue Bloods respects its audience and because of that provides compelling, though-provoking drama every week.

These characters couldn’t have been written any better.  They are nothing like the clichéd shells that you expect on most shows.  Frank Reagan (Tom Selleck – Boston Legal, Magnum, P.I.), is the patriarch of this family and he deeply loves and cares about all of his children and unlike other cookie-cutter TV characters Frank wears his heart on his sleeve.  There is a particularly touching scene between Danny and Frank where Frank expresses concern about his son’s well-being after coming back from war and lets him know that there’s no shame in talking to someone (a therapist) about it.

Now, how about that for a change in pace from the old gruff, TV cop/dads who would have just told their kid to suck it up and get over it.  On the contrary, you can see the concern on Frank’s face when he’s having this discussion with Danny the same way any REAL dad would have if they were worried about their own kid. 

The surprise to me on this show is Jamie (Will Estes – American Dreams, Reunion) because I didn’t think his character was going to be that compelling and quite honestly, Estes’ résumé is kind of thin.  Not only is he doing an excellent job with developing his character as a rookie cop on a beat in the shadow of his big brother, but the writers have done an excellent job making him the focal point of the aforementioned clandestine investigation because he’s the last guy in the world you would ever think would be tapped for an undercover investigation of other cops.  Oh, and by the way, did I mention that John Torturro (Third Watch, NYPD Blue) plays Jamie’s partner and mentor, Sgt. Anthony Renzulli.  How ’bout them apples, huh?  Like I said, this cast has some stones.

Bridget Moynihan (I Robot, Lord of War) does very well as the idealistic academic A.D.A., Erin Reagan-Boyle, constantly butting heads with the men in the family and she holds her own very well with the boys.  As far as father to Frank and former police chief Henry Reagan they couldn’t have casted anyone better than noted character actor Len Cariou (Damages, Brotherhood) .  Nowadays, Henry is more concerned with spending time with his family and putting together toys for the grandkids but he’s always happy to throw his two cents in on the issue of the day… especially around that family dining room table.

Blue Bloods is one of the best three new shows on TV this fall and I’m thrilled that it’s finding success on Friday nights as well as the fact that it was on opposite of NBC’s failed series Outlaw to highlight just how bad that show was and just how well a police/legal procedural can be made when there’s some effort and talent behind it.

Watch full episodes of Blue Bloods, here.

More Casualties of Fall 2010: ‘Undercovers’ (NBC) & ‘The Whole Truth’ (ABC) Cancelled

In two moves that were really shocking to no one, two new dramas, the J.J. Abrams series Undercovers and the Jerry Bruckheimer series, The Whole Truth have been cancelled.  Actually, to put it more accurately, The Whole Truth was cancelled outright and NBC just did not order any more episodes of Undercovers effectively cancelling the series.

I’m not surprised at all that TWT wasn’t received well by audiences.  As noted in my review of the show, it really had nothing going for it that made it stand out above any other courtroom procedurals and what made it worse is that it was a poor rip-off of another failed Bruckheimer show, Justice (2006). 

Undercovers, on the other hand… well, I’m very surprised that it failed so miserably with audiences.  It was a lot like Alias with a much lighter tone to it.  I thought it worked.  It’s unfortunate that we have to see it go.

So, there you have it… two more new dramas down.  Who will be next?

Watch full episodes of The Whole Truth, here. 

Watch full episodes of Undercovers, here.

‘The Whole Truth’ (ABC – Wednesday, 10:00 p.m.)

This unique legal drama chronicles the way a case is built from the perspective of both the defense and prosecution. Showing each side equally keeps the audience guessing, shifting allegiances and opinions on guilt or innocence until the very final scene.

Kathryn Peale, the product of a New England background and a sheriff father, is the Deputy Bureau Chief in the New York State District Attorney’s office. Jimmy Brogan, born and raised in Hell’s Kitchen and a friend of Kathryn’s since their days at Yale Law School, is one of New York’s rising criminal attorney stars. Buoyed by their respective teams, these evenly matched lawyers—each with a strong streak of competitiveness, a fervent belief in their clients and an equally intense passion for the law go about creating two different stories from the same set of facts. As this up-close, behind-the-scenes look at the legal process mirrors the excitement of a championship match, it becomes evident that truth has nothing to do with innocence or guilt—at the end of every trial, the only thing that matters is what the jury believes. – ABC

The Preview (Originally posted on 9/15/2010):

Shawn:     “A totally new kind of legal drama!”  Really, ABC?  Sorry, but not quite.

So, yeah,  I admit it.  Occasionally I read other reviews before I post if for no other reason than to see if the pros caught the same thing about a particular show that I did.  This certainly was the “case” with The Whole Truth, because this time, I knew that I had seen this show before but I just couldn’t put my finger on where and I was hoping that someone’s review would ring the proverbial bell for me.  That’s when I came across this from Paige Wiser from the The Chicago Sun and it all fell into place:

There’s no skimping on the sordid and blunt evidence, but the cases are absorbing. And unlike “Law & Order,” which had a way of leaving us hanging, we do learn the “whole truth” by the end of each episode. You can’t put a price on closure.

That’s it!  The multiple perspectives AND the big reveal at the end of the episode explaining what really happened… it’s Jerry Bruckheimer’s 2006 flop, Justice!  So, apparently, Jerry is just recycling old projects and hoping that no one will notice.  Regardless, I was one of the folks who really did like Justice, despite it lasting only 13 episodes.  Like Justice, The Whole Truth has a very strong ensemble cast and appears to be pretty compelling.  That being said, I am a little irked by the main premise of this show which is going to stick in my craw every episode:  are we really supposed to believe that the same defense attorney and A.D.A. are going to be adversaries EVERY week in EVERY case… in New York City ??? Seriously, are these the only two lawyers in town?  Jerry Bruckheimer plus the fact that it’s Justice recycled are the only two reasons that I am in the category of “reluctantly” watching the pilot.

The Review:

5 out of 10

I hate doing this but… meh. TWT was exactly what thought it would be: a Jerry Bruckheimer production of a former Jerry Bruckheimer production, namely, Justice. The two shows are nearly identical to each other in structure and formula. The only real difference is the added perspective of the prosecution and the bitterly annoying main characters who, as noted, are long-time friends and it’s implied that they had a romantic relationship at one point. They threw that in for tension at the end of the pilot and quite frankly I really don’t care about that aspect of the storyline because it is about as compelling as the past romantic relationship between Jerry and Elaine mentioned every now and then on Seinfeld.

TWT is nothing more than a typical formulaic procedural and to make matters worse, as noted, it’s a recycled show that didn’t work the first time and what really is a bad harbinger for TWT is that it’s nowhere near as good as its predecessor.

None of the characters are particularly interesting and they all are “roll-your-eyes” clichéd. Brogan is the stereotypical, “man-of-the-people,” working-class defense lawyer who, when he’s not discussing pro basketball with transexuals while standing in line to get a pastrami sandwich in a deli, he’s shooting hoops in his office to while going over case strategy with his associates. Oh… I almost forgot… he’s so hip that he wears $1,200.00 suits to court with red tennis shows…. *sigh.*

Peale is the polar opposite of her long-time friend. She’s a conservative, tough as nails, hard-nosed prosecutor who only wears sensible shoes and would never be caught in red tennis shoes… or talking basketball with transsexuals in delis. In order to clear her mind and figure out case-strategy, she likes to drag her colleagues down to the pistol range to fire off a few rounds… *sigh.*

I must say that as boring and contrived as these characters are, what makes them far more annoying is that they are calling each other every five minutes to taunt each other with whatever new piece of evidence or information they have that hurts the other’s case.

Wha… are you kidding me?

What the producers are doing is trying to capitalize on the fact that all evidence has to be shared with both sides. The are playing fast and loose with discovery and it’s just ridiculous. Despite what’s portrayed on TWT, there IS a legal process for discovery spelled out in every jurisdiction’s rules of procedure. You don’t just start calling the opposition and give them a heads-up on every new piece evidence or witness you just were made aware of and you sure as hell don’t tip your hand on strategy. The whole thing is just nonsense.

All in all, despite how weak TWT is, it’s not a horrible show by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s just not very good either. If you like this kind of safe, semi-compelling legal procedural, you’ll probably be pretty comfortable with TWT (and you’ll probably hate my review of Law & Order: Los Angeles, as well).

But if that’s the case you’re going to be pretty disappointed because it’s unlikely that TWT is long for the prime-time lineup. It is currently the lowest rated show on ABC and it’s not getting better.

The truth is that I wouldn’t recommending committing to The Whole Truth.

Watch full episodes of The Whole Truth, here.

‘$#*! My Dad Says’ (Thursday – CBS, 8:00 p.m.)

$#*! MY DAD SAYS (pronounced “Bleep My Dad Says”), based on the popular Twitter feed by Justin Halpern, stars Emmy Award winner William Shatner as Ed Goodson, a forthright and opinionated dad who relishes expressing his unsolicited and often wildly politically incorrect observations to anyone within earshot. Nobody is safe from Ed’s rants, including his sons, Henry, a struggling writer-turned-unpaid blogger; and Vince, the meek half of a husband/wife real estate duo with domineering Bonnie. When Henry finds he can no longer afford to pay rent, Ed reveals a soft spot and invites Henry to move in with him. Henry agrees, knowing that the verbal assault will not abate and now there will be no escape. Describing their father/son relationship is tricky, but Ed will easily come up with a few choice words. – CBS

The Preview (Originally posted on 9/23/2010):

Shawn:

This is by far the most unfortunate post I have to write.  You see, I’ve been a big fan of Justin Halpern’s Twitter Page “Shit My Dad Says” for well over a year now and of course, I’m a huge fan of all things The Shat is involved with but I’m sorry to say that this is going to suck.  Not only is it EVERYTHING that I absolutely hate about sitcoms with the recycled and clichéd jokes, characters and plots it’s 180 degrees backwards of the whole premise of “Shit  My Dad Says!”  Just watch the trailer below to see what I’m talking about but first read this from Amazon in which Halpern explains the premise of the book bearing the same title:

‘At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me.’

Now please explain to me how a wise-cracking jerk of a father, who’s apparently pretty senile and his sensitive and always correct progeny bear any resemblance to the description you just read FROM THE GUY WHO INVENTED THE THING?!

The answer is simply that they don’t resemble each other whatsoever but Halpern isn’t stupid.  He must know that this is garbage and that his new-found fame from this silly little twitter account will be over in about 15 minutes and he’s cashing in while he can and you know what?  I don’t blame him whatsoever.  If a bunch of no-talent hacks like the cast of Jersey Shore or The Hills or Keeping up With the Kardashians can get paid, why not a guy who has actually made millions of people laugh?  But please, be honest and don’t kid yourself into thinking that this is going to be anything but the highest level of suckitude©.  Believe me, I sincerely hope I’m wrong about this, but I know I’m not.

AND WHY THE HELL IS HALF THE CAST OF MADtv IN THIS???

The Review:

0 out of 10

Here are some numbers: 16 in the three-minute teaser, 40 in the first act,  26 in the second act, five in the closing of the show, for a grand total of 87 for the entire 21 minutes of the pilot.

Now, at this point I’m sure you’re asking, “What exactly is he counting?”  Well, I’m not going to leave you in the dark, what I counted was the number of attempts (and, yes,  I really did count) at what the writers apparently believe are jokes and the only reason I knew that they were jokes was because of the contrived and FORCED laughter from the live studio audience.  You see, I say that the laughter was forced because there’s no way any sane or rational human being would consider those ‘jokes” to be funny.  There has to be coercion involved and I suspect that it was at gunpoint.

And do you know what you get for the 87 attempts at humor in 21 minutes (at a rate of 4 per minute)?  Two actual funny jokes… and they were both gay jokes so out of the 87 attempts they had to resort to a stereotype joke in order to be funny.. and it wasn’t even that funny.  And for good measure, they did throw in a predictable dick joke that involved a vegetable… and that wasn’t funny either.

It’s official:  this may be the worst sit-com ever made.  It is far worse than I could have imagined.  It is puke-in-your-mouth awful.  The level of suckitude© cannot be expressed in words and in fact, I’m truly at a loss as to how to describe how bad this is on a level that human beings can understand.  It’s like trying to explain how the mind of God works.  I couldn’t do it and in fact I can’t comprehend it myself.  I literally cannot comprehend how bad this show is.

Everything I said about the show in the preview was absolutely correct, but worse than it bearing no resemblance to the twitter feed, as I noted it would be, it’s everything I hate about sitcoms on FLIPPIN’ STEROIDS.  I always believe that every show, even the worst of them, has some redeeming value.  $MDS has NOTHING redeeming about it, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this, not even the Shat.

In fact, although the character development and horrible writing of this show are not the Shat’s fault, I blame him for agreeing to this project after he read the script.

Every character and every actor in this show is awful and Will Sasso and Nicole Sullivan should be banned from television for five years for their horrible performances on this.

I want to forget I ever saw this show.

Watch full episodes of $#*! My Dad Says, here.