FOX CONTEST: Fans, Submit Your Ideas For Couch Gags On ‘The Simpsons’

Normally, we don’t announce network contests but this was just so cool that we couldn’t keep it to ourselves.  Heck, we’ve been following The Simpsons since day one with the 1989 Christmas Special (and before that on The Tracy Ullman Show) before there ever was a couch gag.

OK… now we feel old.

Via Press Release:

THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT IDEA FOR AN ORIGINAL “THE SIMPSONS” COUCH GAG? 

“THE SIMPSONS” CHALLENGES FANS TO SUBMIT 

ORIGINAL COUCH GAG IDEAS AT thesimpsons.com/couchgag 

WINNING ENTRY TO BE FEATURED IN SEASON FINALE 

Contest Runs Through November 15

In celebration of the 24th season of THE Simpsons, FOX is giving fans of the animated series the opportunity to submit their written ideas for the iconic “couch gag” that appears during the opening credits of THE Simpsons. One lucky contest winner will have his or her submission brought to life in the season finale episode airing in May of 2013.

Announced last night during the season premiere, fans can submit a description of their couch gag ideas to thesimpsons.com/couchgag by Thursday, Nov. 15 at 11:59 PM (ET).

Said Homer Simpson, “We are looking for a brilliant, original way to get my butt on a davenport.”

To watch/share a clip of the contest announcement, click here: http://bit.ly/V7bHCy.

As chosen by THE Simpsons producers, up to three finalists’ submissions will be announced in January 2013, and an illustration of each submission will be posted to thesimpsons.com/couchgag. Fans then will have the opportunity to vote for their favorite finalist. The fan-favorite submission will be animated by THE Simpsons animation house Film Roman and debut during the season finale episode in May 2013.

The winner, in addition to having his or her couch gag featured in the season finale episode, will receive a four-day/three-night trip for two to Los Angeles to visit THE Simpsons animation studio Film Roman, a coveted seat at a script read with THE Simpsons cast and crew, a one-of-a-kind illustration from his/her winning couch gag plus a special prize pack.

There is NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. The submission period began Sept. 30, 2012 and ends Nov. 15, 2012 at 11:59 pm ET. Open to U.S. residents 18+ in compliance with the rules. For additional info on eligibility, submission requirements, judging and complete Official Rules, visit thesimpsons.com/couchgag. Void in AK, HI and where prohibited. Sponsored by Fox Broadcasting Company.

Tune in next Sunday, Oct. 7 (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT) for THE Simpsons’ 23rd annual “Treehouse of Horror.” In the opening segment of yet another Halloween-themed classic, THE Simpsons goes back to ancient times when a Mayan Homer and Marge are witnesses to the prediction by ancient calendar makers that 2012 will be the end of the world. In “The Greatest Story Ever Holed,” the first of three spine-chilling stories, the Springfield Subatomic Supercollider creates a black hole that terrorizes the city, sucking up everything in its path. Then, in “UNnormal Activity” the Simpsons install cameras all over the house when things start to go bump in the night, and Marge discovers it may have to do with an unholy pact she made some years prior. In the final thrilling tale, “Bart & Homer’s Excellent Adventure,” Bart time-travels back to 1974 to buy a comic book at cover price, but inadvertently disrupts Homer and Marge’s courtship and becomes the son of Marge and Artie Ziff (guest voice Jon Lovitz) in present-day Springfield.

THE Simpsons is a Gracie Films Production in association with 20th Century Fox Television. James L. Brooks, Matt Groening and Al Jean are the executive producers. Film Roman, a Starz Media Company, is the animation house.Visit THE Simpsons website at http://www.thesimpsons.com/ and “like” the series on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheSimpsons. Follow Homer Simpson @HomerJSimpson and join the conversation at #thesimpsons. Shop THE Simpsons at www.TheSimpsonsShop.com.

STAR WARS SPECIAL: The False Reverence Of Darth Vader (Or Stupid Crap That George Lucas Made My Generation Believe)

To celebrate Intergalactic Star Wars Day and the 35th Anniversary of the release of the greatest Science Fiction film of all time, I thought I’d take a moment to discuss the biggest flaw of the entire Star Wars franchise that we’ve all bought like idiots for pushing nearly four decades, now; the redemption of Darth Vader after he kills Emperor Palpatine at the end of Return of the Jedi.  Because, after all, that is what the film saga is all about; the rise and fall and ultimate final redemption of Vader.  Seriously, I’ve not only not understood this premise since I’ve been a rational thinking adult, but I really find it a bit disturbing that the general public and the universe of Star Wars geekdom has accepted it for as long they have without batting an eye.

THIS GUY figured it out… and should be revered in death.

First let me start by saying that unlike other characters in classic literature and mythology or popular film and television, Vader didn’t have a “come to Jesus” moment and see the error of his ways like, for example, Legate Damar did when he turned on The Dominion in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and began to see how truly evil they were (By the way, like Vader, the Dominion got off way too easy, as well, and Section 31 was right to create the disease that would have killed them all, but I digress…) and actually evolved his thinking. No, in typical Anakin Skywalker-fashion, he was motivated by narcissistic self-interest.

C.monnnn… think of all the fun we’ll have raping and pillaging!

In Attack of the Clones he killed the Tusken Raiders, also known by their dehumanizing and slightly racist other name the “Sandpeople” (women and children, too) out of a need for personal revenge, he joined Palpatine and the Dark Side to save Padmé, he decapitated Dooku because it was less of a hassle than taking him prisoner and he ultimately killed Palpatine to protect his son. Hell, in The Empire Strikes Back, he didn’t try to recruit Luke by saying, “Luke, join me so we can stop this madness and I can make amends for all of the pain I’ve caused,” no, he says, “Join me and we can rule the Galaxy as father and son.” What the sh*t?  Hey, Darth… it’s not always about what works for you… dick.

Yep… as you can see, the sh*t works as advertised. So, how many Death Stars can I put you down for?

This guy’s track-record as far as we know from the six films is that he has personally murdered women and children, baby Padawans, and was instrumental in committing genocide throughout the galaxy. Oh, and yeah… he destroyed an entire planet with no defensive capabilities thereby killing billions of innocent people in one shot… as a product demonstration! This guy made Hitler look like Walt Disney, yet he’s revered at the end of Jedi like he’s some kind of tragic hero. “I can still feel the good in you, father.” Eff that, Vader never expressed even one ounce of regret over the evil things that he had done, even at the end.  Nope, the only thing that he regrets is the fact that he disappointed his kid!

And, by the way, yes, nerds, I am completely aware that Luke never uttered the exact words, “I can still feel the good in you, father,” but that, of course, was the big theme. Besides, if Lucas can change the entire make-up of characters than I sure as heck can tweak a little dialogue for the purpose of driving a point home.

Moving along…

Hope & Change: Bringin’ It.

So, when Luke is dragging him up on that ramp on the shuttle saying, “You’re coming with me.  I can’t leave you here. I’ve got to save you,” what was he thinking… that the rest of the Rebel Alliance and trillions of oppressed citizens of the Empire would just let him off the hook because he did one good thing and helped his kid? I hate to be the one to break this to people but Vader killing Palpatine was a meaningless gesture thanks to the badass of all badasses, Lando Calrissian taking care of business with the Millenium Falcon, a forty of Colt 45 and that little frog-looking dude in the copilot’s seat. Again, all Vader did was save his own kid which is something I do every day when they climb on top of the fridge and they aren’t pinning any medals on my chest and I’ve certainly never killed a bunch of five year-olds.  Luke or no Luke, Vader or no Vader, that Death Star gets blown up and the Emperor gets vaporized along with everyone else on that thing.

All he needs is a gallon of Kool-Aid and he’s ready to party.

And another thing…. why was Luke crying?  He’s had contact with his old man a grand total of three times in his life.  Let’s examine the outcomes of those events, shall we?  The first time, he watched Vader murder his mentor Obi Wan (mind you, he did just meet that guy a few hours earlier, but losing the leader of cult can be very destructive for an impressionable young man like Luke who became a religious zealot within only a couple of hours of actually hearing about the religion) and of course it turns out that he was directly responsible for the murders of his aunt and uncle.  The second time, Dad freezes his best friend in a block of carbonite and cuts off his hand while letting him fall presumably to his death without even checking to see if he’s OK and the third time, he tries to kill him, considers letting his boss the finish the job and then changes his mind.  Yeah, those are real Kodak moments to get all misty-eyed over, Luke.

Warmin’ up for ya, Darth. Nub, Nub, indeed.
BTW, I can’t begin to tell you how hard it is to find a photo of an Ewok on a toilet.

Redemption, my ass. What most likely would have happened if Vader would have survived like Luke tried to make happen is that Vader would have bit it like Mussolini albeit with representatives from the 50,000 Old Republic planets all throwing stones at him and the Wookiees and Ewoks taking turns, respectively, taking a dump in his open mouth, and chances are, Luke would have gotten whacked just for being associated with his ass (which Luke probably knew which is why he didn’t make a big issue out of Vader’s protests).

But no, what does Lucas give us? He gives a happy little scene where Vader is honored with a funeral pyre and we see the spirits of Kenobi, Yoda and the genocidal, narcissistic, child-killing, mass-murderer smiling on in Jedi Heaven like nothing happened. Eff that. There’s a special place in Hell for Darth Vader and for George Lucas for trying to make us believe that empty gestures can wash away a history of pure, unadulterated evil.

As a reminder… Han fired the ONLY shot.

And why not, I guess?  After all this is the same guy that has changed the history of his own work to make an obvious scoundrel and cold-blooded killer seem like a hero, even going so far as to definitively say that Han Solo was always meant to shoot first.  I’ve heard people say that Lucas has raped their childhood, no, Lucas has been raping our intelligence since we were toddlers and continues to do so as we march toward middle-age… and, of course, we gladly accept it and ask for more (and I freely admit that I am just as bad).

***Sigh.***

Seriously… What the Hell is wrong with us?

So now that the rant is officially over, please enjoy Red Letter Media’s review of Star Wars – Episode I: The Phantom Menace, by Harry S. Plinkett.  It’s an hour and eight minutes long so I had to split it into two parts but it’s well worth it.

CLOSET CLEANING: Battlestar Galactica Series Bible (2003)

So, we’re cleaning out the C drive on the computer and we just happen to find what could possibly be one of the coolest things we’ve ever randomly downloaded and forgot about: Ronald D. Moore’s Battlestar Galactica series bible.  Enjoy!

Battlestar Galactica Series Bible

Merry Christmas From The’ Tastic! Yet Another Gift For Our Readers: Awesome Commercials From When We Were Kids

Merry Christmas, again!  Yesterday, we were glad to share with you the 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special and today, on Christmas Day, we want to share you something equally as cool.  here’s a selection of some great ads, mostly from when we were kids for toys and cereal and all sorts of good stuff.  Enjoy this nostalgia trip!

Merry Christmas From The ‘Tastic! Our Gift To You: The 1978 Star Wars Holiday Special

Bearing gifts, come I...

Merry Christmas from The ‘Tastic!  Our first gift to our readers is none other than the 1978 Stars Wars Holiday Special.  It’s so bad, it’s awesome.  George Lucas says that if he had the time and resources he would personally see that every copy of this is destroyed.  Princess ‘Tastic and  Lil’ Buddy ‘Tastic watched this the other night and loved it.  Can’t blame ’em.  Below is the YouTube version and the Google video version.  We included both because it was difficult to tell which had the better quality in full-screen.   To watch the Google video version in full-screen you’ll have to watch it on the Google video site.

HBO: True Blood Seasons 1 – 3… In Under Five Minutes (VIDEO)

Approved by Gamera!

For this generation of television audiences with short attention spans, HBO has made catching up on True Blood ahead of the season four premiere this Sunday, June 26th easy by releasing the cool little video below that provides a synopsis of the important stuff that’s been going on over the last three seasons.  This has been approved by our, True Blood corespondent, Gamera who as we noted, will be featured prominently in season five.

Just Overheard:

Just Overheard:

 “Now I don’t want to say that Tim Pawlenty’s boring but his Secret Service codename: Al Gore.” – Jay Leno

$#*! My Dad Says Creator Justin Halpern Takes Cancellation Of The Show in Stride

Now, if you didn’t already know, $#*! My Dad Says, the CBS comedy (and we use that term loosely) starring William Shatner and based on the popular Twitter Feed by Justin Halpern with the  Big-5-network-less-than-primetime-ready title, “Shit My Dad Says,” was cancelled last week.  As we’ve noted in the past, this show was the worst show of the 2010 – 2011 season, the worst sitcom of all-time and perhaps the worst television show ever made.  It was an absolute shame because we still absolutely love the Twitter feed (we are one of the original subscribers) and have nothing but respect for Justin or his dad, Sam.

As a final note to the series and in true Shit My Dad Says-fashion, Justin commented as to his reaction to the news of the show cancellation and the subsequent conversation he had with his dad about it on his blog.  It couldn’t have been any more “Justin-and-Sam-like” and it is far funnier than anything that was ever on that show. What’s interesting to note is that Justin’s non-jaded, glass-is-half full assessment of his overall success in the last year is identical to what we said in the review we did of the show back in September 2010.   He’s a class act and the old man raised him well.

So yesterday the TV show based off the twitter feed, and my book, Shit My Dad Says, was cancelled.  I worked on the show for the last year.  It was a bummer, until I remembered that I got a TV show based off a twitter feed and a book and was basically the luckiest asshole who ever roamed this earth.

Here was our take on his success and how we didn’t begrudge him it at all:

Halpern isn’t stupid.  He must know that this is garbage and that his new-found fame from this silly little twitter account will be over in about 15 minutes and he’s cashing in while he can and you know what?  I don’t blame him whatsoever.  If a bunch of no-talent hacks like the cast of Jersey Shore or The Hills or Keeping up With the Kardashians can get paid, why not a guy who has actually made millions of people laugh?

Here’s the conversation with his dad.  we hope you enjoy it as much as we did.  Warning: put down all beverages while reading this or you’ll spend all afternoon cleaning off your monitor…

“Hey.  What do you need. I’m busy,” he said.

“Do you have a second?” I said.

“Is this Justin?” he said.

“Yeah.  Who’d you think it was?“

“Didn’t know.  Just picked up the phone.”

“You didn’t know who it was and you answered the phone with ‘Hey.  What do you need?  I’m busy?,” I asked.

“Lets people know not to fuck around with my time,” he said.

“My show got cancelled,” I said.

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line and I wasn’t sure if he heard me.  I was about to say it again, when he spoke.

“Well.  Fuck.  Sorry to hear that, son.”

“Eh, it’s okay.  It happens.  It was crazy I got a show on the air in the first place.”

“Well, I liked it.  It was kind of shitty at first, but I thought it got a lot better.  You know what show I like? Cheers.  That was a good show,” he said.

“That was a good show,” I said, wondering if that was part of a larger point he was about to make.

“Also I liked The Simpsons.  At first I thought, it’s just a stupid cartoon for pants-shitters, but I was wrong, great show.”  (Pants-shitters is how my dad refers to toddlers.)

“Well, I just wanted to let you know.  I know you’re busy so I’ll let you go,” I said.

“I‘m 75.  If you’re busy when you’re seventy five, you fucked up the first seventy five years.  I want you to know that I’m proud of you.  You didn’t put a bullet through Bin Laden but I’m proud of you.  You’re a bust-ass kid.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“And let’s not forget the big picture here.  You don’t have to live with me anymore.  One less person crawling up your ass every morning.  That’s all anyone can fucking ask for.